Black Magic Lagoon
by ravenwingcorps
Summary: After a divorce with Petunia, Vernon sold Harry to child traffickers. It got worse.
1. The Fuckin' Beginning

This story is going to be as fucked up as I can fucking make it.

I'm not fucking joking. A lot of my stories start out fucking dark and depressing and get better as time goes on, in this story I fucking plan to make things as dark as fucking possible, fuck up as many characters as possible and in general fuck around with everybody.

Get you fucking votes in on who you want to be fucked around with.

Now in this story not many of the Harry Potter bad guys will get a happy fucking ending, in fact neither will many of the fucking good guys. It all depends on how badly I fuck them over.

As to the Black Lagoon Characters... it's fucking Black fucking Lagoon, what do you fucking think is gonna happen, everything come out smelling like fucking roses?

Now, the fucking warnings for this story, Swearing (Maybe I should have put this one at the fucking beginning eh), Fucking, Fucking Swearing, Random Nudity, excessive use of the word fuck or some variation thereof, fucking rape, death, blood, more swearing... and Revy (she gets a fucking warning all to her fucking self.)

That should fucking cover everything I fucking plan to fucking do.

Fuckin' A

Black Magic Lagoon

The fucking Beginning

Dumbledore had to seriously wonder why he was in this situation, in a room on a cruise ship that was currently making its way up the side of South Africa; In front of him was a gaudy room with two beds at either side and an open doorway to a too white bathroom.

It wasn't the ship that bothered him; he had travelled like this when a portkey would have given him away in doing things that were for the greater good, things that were in the gray side of the law. It wasn't even who he was in the room with, although that was the source of his irritation. He would have liked to say something, some grand speech that would fix everything; it worked on the ministry, but Dumbledore knew it wouldn't work here, he would have liked to do many things; time travel would have been the most useful. Dumbledore had seen how they had lived he knew getting them to change their lifestyle to fit into what many would term a more normal life would be a lesson in futility; the two eleven year olds were fundamentally broken.

The two children, Dumbledore shook his head to rid him himself of that thought; with what they had seen and the things they had done, they were anything but children. Dumbledore's two... companions, companions would have to suffice until he found a better classification for them.

A boy with messy black hair and green eyes sat with his back to one of the beds, he was wearing a pair of three quarters combat pants, he usually wore a black shirt which was on the bed, and as such he was not wearing it, had a roaring tiger in a design that reminded Dumbledore of a similar design he had seen many years ago in China. Sat in a cross-legged position in front of him was a girl with dark red almost black hair, she wore a black tank top that left half of her midriff exposed and a pair of denim jeans that had various rips in it, on the bed lay a black leather jacket and a red hooded top.

It wasn't even their attire that caused Dumbledore concern, he had seen similar in other less reputable places, worse even. His problem was what he saw in their eyes, in his long life Dumbledore had seen much, he had seen many different looks and the look he saw in his two companion's eyes quite frankly scared him. It was the look of someone who had killed many people, someone who had done many things and above all someone who was 'half-dead' and knew it.

Harry Potter and Revy. It was Harry Potter who was the cause for a desire of time travel, the boy had been instrumental in Tom's defeat ten years ago, it was after that defeat that the remaining death eaters had been on the prowl for the boy.

Dumbledore had used the blood magic Lily Potter had invoked to keep her son alive to send the boy to his Aunt and Uncle's house. That had been one of the greatest mistakes of his life, not the greatest but one of the greatest.

Within hours Harry's Uncle had him removed from the house and gone, how Vernon Dursley, a simple muggle, had got in contact with the more illegal side of life to sell Harry Potter off mystified him. Dumbledore had found out hours afterwards and had set off in pursuit of Harry. Dumbledore had lost the trail in Taiwan after having taken a sea route that had circled around South Africa and Australia.

It had only been two months ago that one Dumbledore's more questionable contacts had informed him of a boy bearing a striking resemblance to James Potter had been working with a company called the Black Lagoon Company.

This had set off several warning bells for Dumbledore, what was a young boy, not even in his teens, doing working for a company that by all reports was a smuggling company that operated out of Roanapur in Thailand, one of the worlds most dangerous cities.

What Dumbledore had worked out that was young Harry had ties to both the Hong Kong Triad and Hotel Moscow, both very dangerous and illegal organisations.

Dumbledore was brought from his musings by the sound of Revy.

"Does this school of yours have any bars nearby?"

Dumbledore sighed having anticipated this question, "There are two, I may be able to convince the owner of one of them to serve you two."

"Fuckin'-A." This response came from Harry who had a slight grin.

Dumbledore let out a sigh but refrained from making a comment on his language, after all swearing was far from the worst of the things Harry had done.

Revy stood up and stretched, "I'm going for a fuckin' walk."

Dumbledore quickly looked at her, "We need to keep a low profile."

Revy gave a laugh that was filled with dark humour, "And if I don't go for a walk I'm gonna turn this fuckin' boat into one giant cluster fuck."

Dumbledore paled, he knew what would happen then, a very high body count.

Harry stood up as well, "Give me a sec and I'll come with you." Harry picked up his T-shirt and put it on as well as digging out a harness that contained two silver guns in the holsters.

Dumbledore panicked, "Harry, this isn't Roanapur, you can't just carry guns around."

Harry sighed and dropped the harness onto the bed, "Will we at least be able to carry them at this school of yours?"

Dumbledore thought for a moment, "As long as no one is killed." As the two walked out the room it dawned on Dumbledore that he had just said a very stupid thing.

* * *

"Fuck it's hot." Revy was leaning against the railings on the edge of the ship and looking out to sea.

Harry, who had his back to the sea, laughed, "Ever since that incident with the freezer you've always got hot easily."

Revy groaned, "Don't fucking remind me about that incident, I thought that one was never gonna fucking end the fucking bastard, at least I got paid more for it."

Harry sighed, "We're not gonna fit into this fuckin' school are we?"

Revy laughed, "Not a fucking chance Harry, at least you'll be able to find out about your parents, at least I know the fuckin' story about how mine died."

"Yeah, you shot them, I just want to find out about mine, it pisses me off not knowing." Harry turned around to look out to sea.

Revy laughed, "My mum was a whore and my dad was her pimp _and _they were both doped up fuckers, not like anything really changed."

Harry nodded, "Like anyone gives a shit about the past."

Upon a higher deck where he could observe his two companions Dumbledore realised why Revy was as bad as she was, that was something that brought him to the verge of tears.

* * *

Rebecca grew up in the Ghetto Chinatown of Manhattan, as a chinese-american any form of charity was a rarity. She knew that her mother worked as a whore and that her dad took any of the money she earned and blew most of it on drink, drugs and smokes despite the fact that they both claimed to be devout Christians.

Rebecca didn't really care, when she wasn't at the local run down school or out of the house pickpocketing for her dad she was high on whatever drug her dad decided to inject her with, usually it was Heroin.

If Revy was lucid enough the next day she would go to school although she was still too drugged up to remember how everyone kept away from her and that the moment someone got too close Revy would immediately attack, after she had broken a teacher's arm no one tried to help Revy when she had been injected by her dad.

Rebecca was five when she first tried digging into her dad's stash he had caught her and using an iron bar had beat her within an inch of her life, her mum had stayed sat on the broken down couch in a drug induced haze.

When Rebecca had recovered she had slipped into her parents room whilst they were asleep and took a dose of heroin from her dad's stash and then retrieved the small revolver hidden in the bedside table.

Her dad had taught her three things, how to fight, how to inject herself with drugs and how to shoot a loaded gun. Of all three things he had proclaimed her a natural.

The six chamber revolver was heavy for the young Rebecca, the first shot went through her dad's liver, he was too doped up to realise he has been shot by the time the second shot hit his Jugular artery.

The third shot hit her mum in the temple, she had been so drugged she had never even woke up.

By the time the cops arrived hours later all they found were two bodies and three spent bullet casings. When Rebecca had fled she had taken her dad's drugs, money as well as his revolver and spare ammo.

It was nearly a full year later when Rebecca was just short of being six years old showed up at her school during break time. She was dressed in what remained of the clothes she had been wearing when she fled the scene of her former home.

Her clothes were ripped and frayed and covered in mud and grim and various other substances that showed she had at least partially taken up her mothers profession.

As she approached the school her staggering gait was easily recognizable and the way her hands twitched. The moment she was through the school gate she was surrounded by classmates and a few teachers, this close the teachers could see that Rebecca was sweating heavily as well as the redness of her eyes and dilated pupils. Sticking out of the remains of a pocket was a hypodermic needle.

Her appearance alone made the teachers worry, not to mention how badly her hands twitched and the other symptoms of drug use, her state did not escape notice of her classmates.

"Hey Rebecca, what's wrong?" The young girl who had spoken this never got the chance to say anything else, with an almost exaggerated slowness Rebecca drew the same revolver that she had stolen from her parents and then killed them with.

Before it entered into the minds of the crowd to run or scream or even do anything the first bullet tore through the skull of the girl who had spoken and embedded itself into wind pipe of the boy behind her.

By the time the police arrived they found Thirty-four bodies of young children and the bodies of three teachers. Rebecca was found slumped against the wall a block away with an empty needle that had contained Heroin and an empty revolver.

The police were at a loss of how to deal with Rebecca, a five year old hardcore drug user and mass murderer. Within the first day she was linked to an additional eleven deaths to the thirty-seven killed at her school and her parents adding the title of serial killer to the list.

Within two days the child killer Rebecca and her revolver had gone and the police were four thousand dollars richer.

* * *

Did i Succeed with fucked up?

If not i will try harder later on.

Again votes for who you want to fuck over, i have plans for Draco and snape but give me a good idea and i'll take into consideration.


	2. That's His Fuckin' Story

So in the last fuckin' chapter we had a look into the fuckin' past of Revy.

This fuckin' chapter we fuckin' get a look into the fuckin' life of Harry fuckin' Potter

Also for Any of You Fuckers reading this one of the fuckin' people helping with ideas on this fuckin' story is Samjaz so expect even more fucked up with his help.

Chi Vayne: Thank you very fuckin' much, I have never fuckin' been any fuckin' good at keeping people in fuckin' character but I should be fuckin' able to this fuckin time.

Striker1346: Which fuckin' one? They fuckin' breed like fuckin' rabbits.

Owned6: Weak shit? A fuckin' six year old on fuckin' drugs with a fuckin' claim to be a fuckin' mass murderer and fuckin' Serial killer who fuckin' killed their own fuckin' parents is weak? Guess you'll just have to see what fucked up shit I have for later.

And fuck yes I am fuckin' intentionally fuckin' saying fuck, this fuckin' story fuckin' involves fuckin' Black fuckin' Lagoon what the fuck do you expect?

Black Magic Lagoon

That's his Fuckin' story.

Dumbledore was worried, he could only use so much magic without attracting attention in a crowded place, His problem lay in the fact he was bringing into the country a boy who was never recorded as leaving, a girl who Dumbledore frankly had no clue where she came from and four handguns.

It was a few hours before they docked in Portsmouth that Dumbledore came across the solution, a portkey from Thailand to London may have been obvious but one from Portsmouth would be barely noticeable, with that thought in mind Dumbledore picked up a spare piece of paper.

"Harry, Revy, Would you gather your things, I believe we have overstayed our welcome." With a flick of his wand all of Dumbledore's own things were packed away in a suitcase that he then shrunk down and placed in his pocket and then gave a small smile as Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Show-off."

Dumbledore smiled as Harry began putting the few clothes he owned in a small suitcase, Revy staggered out of the small bathroom before she found her footing and stood solidly. Revy was something of an enigma to Dumbledore, what he had pieced together was that she was a calm killer that had killed her own parents and seemed adverse to answering personal questions but had a muted sense of justice and seemingly no Morals and little modesty.

Revy was obviously close to Harry and also contained the spark of magic, upon discovering this fact Dumbledore had immediately located the nearest Magic school, upon inquiring about transferring a prospective student to Hogwarts he had been met with scepticism, until he mentioned the prospective student lived in Roanapur the headmaster of the school had been happy to arrange the transfer and even located the name on the list, it had taken a while since Revy wasn't her real name. Eventually they had found Rebecca from Roanapur who turned out to be Revy.

When Dumbledore had talked to Harry and Revy about Hogwarts he had explained about magic and after giving a demonstration he had hoped that they would accept although he wasn't too surprised when they both declined. After explaining it had been the school Harry parents had gone to he had asked again if they would attend Hogwarts, for a second he had thought Harry would accept but then he had decided that 'No one gives a shit about the past.' Dumbledore had felt hope die until the large black man who had introduced himself as Dutch had taken Harry aside for a second, when they came back Harry had decided to come and then Revy decided join him.

"You gonna keep fuckin' staring at me like that?" Dumbledore came to the present to see Revy giving him a glare with her hands dangerously close to her handguns. Dumbledore blinked rapidly before assuming his grandfather persona complete with eye twinkle.

"Merely an old man lost in thought."

"Lost in thought on the subject of my fuckin' ass." Revy and Harry laughed whilst Dumbledore shook his head.

"Are the two of you packed and have your guns hidden?" Both Harry and Revy dropped a suitcase to the floor, Revy had foregone her red hoody and had worn just the leather jacket atop her tank top whilst her guns were hidden by her jacket whilst Harry wore a leather jacket that hid his guns. At their nods Dumbledore picked up a piece of paper and drew his wand, he tapped the piece of paper with his wand as he muttered something under his breath before the piece of paper glowed blue for a brief second.

"Well isn't that freaky shit." Revy was eyeing the piece of paper with a sense of caution whilst Harry had a hand close to his gun.

"This will allow us to travel to our destination in an instant." Dumbledore smiled as Harry's hand moved from his gun a small amount, Revy suddenly looked annoyed.

"Couldn't you have fuckin' done that earlier?" Revy's hand twitched towards her gun and it dawned on Dumbledore that his answer would depend on his life.

"Using a portkey like this from Roanapur would have alerted half the world's population that someone just illegally travelled halfway around the world, the two of you work with smugglers, you understand being discrete." Revy's hand dropped from her gun and Dumbledore breathed a sigh of relief, Dumbledore didn't miss Harry's smirk.

"Lucky you can fuckin' talk fast old man." Harry was grinning at Dumbledore.

"Grab your luggage and touch the piece of paper and we will be off." As Harry and Revy touched the piece of paper Dumbledore felt the familiar pull behind his navel and they were gone.

Upon landing Harry and Revy staggered slightly although they remained upright, as soon as they were sure in their footing they both glared at him and twitched obviously deciding if they should shoot him or not, Dumbledore did have to admit that travelling by portkey was a bit disorientating.

"Our destination is the Leaky Cauldron a delightful pub that serves as the gateway to Diagon Alley." Dumbledore smiled at the glares despite how nervous he was, From what he knew of their combat skills if they decided to shoot him his shield charm would possibly block the first four shots before breaking and then the next one to two shots would kill him. At the speed bullets travel Dumbledore doubted he could get a second shield up or apparate away.

They both seemed disgruntled although they didn't shoot him, Dumbledore counted himself lucky although he supposed it was because they had no idea where they were and he did, at least he held a few cards, granted a pair might not compare to a royal flush but it was better than nothing, for as long as he could bluff anyway.

Walking down the street the three didn't even get a second glance despite the bright blue robes worn by Dumbledore, seeing the question Harry was about to ask Dumbledore gave him an answer.

"Muggles or non-magical people can't always see everything in front of them." One thing Dumbledore had noticed and that was even more noticeable as they walked down the street was that Harry's right hand was always near his pants right pocket and his eyes were always moving.

"Are you alright Harry?" Dumbledore found himself rather worried particularly when Harry's eyes darted to him before returning to looking everywhere at once.

"I'm fine." The undertone of controlled panic said otherwise to Dumbledore.

"He's fine, he just doesn't fuckin' like people unless he knows them." Revy seemed largely unworried although still likely to shoot him at the drop of a hat.

"Is there any reason for that?" Revy's face darkened at that and both her hands went dangerously close to her guns.

"That's his fuckin' story."

* * *

Harry as a young child lived in a crowded dorm space that he shared with other children of both sexes, as a group they were taught various things, reading, writing, basic math and other similar things so that when they were taken out of the compound they lived in by the handlers they could at least appear normal, this was also the only time any of them had been allowed to wear clothes.

One thing Harry had noticed was how at night some of the Handlers would take one of the children into another room, every now and again one of those children didn't come back, those that did come back were never quite the same, some of the children became quiet and never really talked again whilst others seemed eager to go with the handlers again.

Harry kept quiet, never acted up and stayed in the background, it was a long time before Harry was taken by the Handlers during the night. At this time Harry was five years old. Standing in a room with a group of adults, all of them being as naked as Harry himself was, was the first time Harry in his short life felt true fear.

The man who stepped forward first was well built and the two small circular marks on his right shoulder would be something Harry came to know as the scars from a bullet wound, the man had a psychotic smirk on his face as he reached out with his left hand and rested it gently on Harry's right cheek.

It was only there for a few seconds before it dropped to the floor unattached to the arm it belonged to, it was seconds later when the man's head followed it to the ground as a small geyser of blood erupted from the man's neck as his body dropped to the floor.

It was hours later before anyone checked into the room, a young girl who had been taken by the child trafficking ring, the girl promptly screamed and brought others to the room. After the dismembered corpses had been removed Harry was cleaned up and dressed in a set of ragged clothes and sent to see the contact of the trafficking ring that dealt with guns.

There he was given a Semmerling LM4 Skeleton grip compact pistol and shown how to shoot as well as using the chambering mechanism on the LM4.

It was several months later that Harry was sent out, playing the part of a child sex toy he was sent to a woman who had a taste for young boys and had been using the trafficking ring as a child prostitution service and had been anything but discreet about it. The moment she tried to touch Harry her arms were removed from her torso as her torso separated from her legs.

This went on for several months, the trafficking ring using Harry as a hitman for people that were causing trouble for them, during this time Harry had been given his own room within the compound as well as his own clothes, nothing too expensive but nothing too bad. Harry often helped out with the 'package' shipments that came in.

Harry had no real care about the small crying children that trafficking ring brought in, he helped out with shipments and even though he didn't do anything he was sometimes in a dark corner of the room when they started taking some of the newer children for the night.

It was a while before a man forgot the golden rule with Harry, don't touch. Two weeks later when the local authorities stormed the building they found Harry sat in his room in the compound whilst everyone else, including the children, were just rotting corpses.

With a bribe in place Harry was released from police custody.

The police never did locate the Semmerling LM4 thought to have killed at two of the men and a woman in the compound.

* * *

**So there we have it, now that we have delved into the beginnings of harry and revy we can proceed.**

**Beta'd by Samjaz, go read his stories  
**


	3. Fuckin' Hangovers

Now that we fuckin' have most of the fuckin' back-story we can fuckin' go forward, although this is a fuckin' transitional chapter.

Owned6: It fuckin' takes time to fuckin' get everything fucked up.

Alia-Jevs: I'm fuckin' glad you fuckin' like how I've fuckin' done the early fuckin' background work, but now is on to the fuckin' future, any more of the fuckin' past shit will likely be fuckin' told in the same fuckin' manner or in fuckin' nightmares or something, not sure yet.

Chi Vayne: Be very afraid Hogwarts, be very fuckin' afraid. Although in all fuckin' honesty for the first couple of fuckin' years I don't think many fuckin' students will die, mainly so I can fuckin' kill them in even better ways than a fuckin' simple bullet to the fuckin brain, some of the fuckin' students will possibly fuckin' end up in Roanapur, any fuckin' character you want to see as a fuckin' stripper? And expect a fuckin' surprise student or wait until Revy goes into fuckin' withdrawal, that's gonna be a hell of a fuckin' ride.

**Nim Istar: hope you read this bit, hence bold, but no swearing just for you, glad you like the beginning of my story, my notes at the beginning are written in honour of my favourite Manga and Anime, Black Lagoon, hence the swearing, anything important will likely be at the bottom minus swearing.**

DragonGolem: Thank you very fuckin' much for the fuckin' vote of confidence.

Now on with the fuckin' show.

Black Magic Lagoon

Fuckin' Hangovers

"Well isn't this place a fuckin' shithole"

Dumbledore forced himself not to laugh at Revy's comment. The Leaky Cauldron was indeed anything but glamorous.

"Even the yellow flag is fuckin' better than this shithole and that gets fuckin' blown up or shot to shit every other week." Dumbledore silently agreed to Harry's statement, the first place he had actually met Harry and Revy had been in the yellow flag, he didn't do anything other than introduce himself that day, he had hoped to see them in the same bar the following day only to find it had been burnt to the ground.

It had taken him a week to track down the location of the Black Lagoon headquarters to properly speak to them. People in Roanapur were very wary of outsiders, the city had it's own social system and groups that were kept in a delicate balance, sometimes by force of Hotel Moscow or the Triad. To Dumbledore the city seemed like one big storm that was just waiting for a trigger to let the heavens open and the thunder and lightning begin

"Even though it is not the most glamorous place it serves as the conduit to magical London." Dumbledore missed the smirk that Revy had but he had realised he had just played his hand on their current location.

"Well let's have a look at the inside of this shithole." Revy began walking towards the Leaky Cauldron.

* * *

The Leaky Cauldron was, as it often was, quite packed, even then the roar of noise quietened quickly with Dumbledore entering the room, many people stared at Dumbledore, a man who was quite the legend within the wizard community, many people took note of the two stood with him although Harry's scar remained hidden by his hair.

Dumbledore began making his way towards the bar occasionally greeting someone he knew. No one seemed to connect the rather tough looking young boy who seemed to be very shy and twitchy with Harry Potter, which Dumbledore supposed was a good thing.

"What can I do for you today Headmaster?" Tom the barkeeper gave a rather toothy grin as Dumbledore arrived at the bar.

"These two need a room until the first of September."

"New students then? I've got a room free for them." The barkeeper took a key and passed it over to Dumbledore.

"I will sort out payment when I come to pick them up on the first." The barkeeper nodded and gave his toothy grin.

"Right you are headmaster." Dumbledore gave one of his grandfatherly smiles and led Harry and Revy away to the stairs.

Almost as soon as they were on the stairs and out of sight the crowd in the bar started up again and the noise could be heard, Dumbledore lead the two to their designated room.

"I have things to attend to today but I will talk to Tom about drinks and food being brought up, tomorrow we will be going into Diagon Alley to buy your things."

Dumbledore seemed oblivious to the two glares he was receiving and the way Harry and Revy had all but drawn their guns.

"I believe that Rum is your choice of drink is it not?" With that Dumbledore went to exit the room followed by twin cries.

"Fuck yeah."

This year at Hogwarts was going to be the most exciting yet, Dumbledore could feel it.

* * *

Harry was simply put fuckin' impressed at the skills of the barkeep, he had entered the room with a tray of food, nothing fancy, just two plates of Burger and chips, odd considering this was the fuckin' magical world.

Had it been fancy Harry likely would have shoved it back into that fuckin' toothy grin, fancy shit tasted just like shit and didn't even have anything to it, Harry was more interested in the crate of rum that actually fuckin' levitated in after the man, Harry was just fuckin' impressed with the levitating crate of rum, the fact that he kept his footing and placed the tray of food on a rickety table when Revy suddenly exited the bathroom after having just had a shower and was completely fuckin' naked.

Revy herself was quite developed for a fuckin' eleven year old, as in she actually had fuckin' boobs. As such Tom the barkeep got quite the eyeful and when Revy turned to dump her clothes and towel on the bed Tom got a look at the Jolly Roger skull 'n' cross bones tattooed on her left arse cheek.

"What is it with old men and staring at my ass, I usually charge for a strip show you know?" The barkeep made a noise that sound akin to a car engine stalling before he made a hasty retreat.

The moment the door closed Harry and Revy burst out laughing. Before Revy grabbed a bottle of rum from the still floating crate.

"That's some impressive shit right there." Revy gave a vague wave towards the crate.

"Throw me a bottle Revy." Revy took another bottle from the crate and threw it towards Harry who deftly caught it as he sat up from his position laid on the bed.

"So tonight we get smashed." Revy had a grin of anticipation.

"Fuck yes we get smashed, I was so bored on the cruise I nearly killed a little kid."

* * *

Dumbledore sat heavily on the chair in his office and for once none of the noises created by his array of seemingly useless objects helped calm him as they usually did, what also didn't help was the four faces of his head of houses, Severus Snape the Head of Slytherin, Filius Flitwick the Head of Ravenclaw, Pomona Sprout the Head of Hufflepuff and Minerva McGonagall the Deputy Headmistress the Head of Gryffindor.

Minerva McGonagall gave him a very stern glare as he took a glass and a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey.

"Minerva, Do you remember what you said to me ten years ago when I left Harry with his relatives?" Dumbledore began to pour himself a generous measure of firewhiskey.

"I remember telling you that they were the worst sort of muggles, I was only proven right when they went and sold their own flesh and blood." Minerva didn't need to shout, she understood perfectly how a calm façade could make more noise than a shout.

"It was one of my greatest mistakes not listening to you that night." Dumbledore downed the firewhiskey in one go, he chose to ignore the four pairs of wide eyes staring at him, Dumbledore was not a heavy drinker usually, "You were wrong about them being the worst sort of muggles, where I found Harry is the home of the worst sort of muggles."

Minerva seemed greatly confused at the statement.

"What do you mean Albus?" Filius spoke first although he seemed to have a vague understanding, there was a reason he was the head of the intellectual Ravenclaw.

"Sometime between his departure from England and the point where I first got word of his location he has become heavily involved in organised crime that makes Voldemort look like a school bully." Albus began pouring himself more firewhiskey.

"Just how bad is he?" Severus was leaning forward, his face was a mix of interest and regret.

"I do not know the extent but it is bad, keep an eye on both Harry and the girl that will be accompanying him, although her birth name is Rebecca she prefers to be called Revy and takes great offence to her birth name." Albus took another drink. "I will be asking the new teacher to keep an eye on them as well, he has more experience with the weapons they favour."

"Sure, okay." Five heads turned to look at the figure leaned casually against the wall next to the door.

* * *

"Fuck it's cold."

Harry managed to roll onto his side and managed to make out the haze that comes with being hungover a naked Revy sat cross-legged on the floor. Harry laughed.

"Sleeping naked on the floor likely didn't help." Revy glared at him as she stood up and stretched out the kinks with a wobble. Harry groaned as he rolled onto his back and sat up.

"Ugh, my mouth tastes like the tabletops at the Yellow Flag." Revy began to pull on her shredded jeans and her tank top in less of a sense of modesty and more really of a sense of being really fucking cold.

"Can someone turn off the sun?" Harry held his head in his hands as he sat on the bed, "I think I'm gonna puke."

"A hangover is a peculiar thing." Albus Dumbledore quickly found that even when they have hangovers both Harry and Revy were quick on the draw and found himself staring down the barrels of two silver guns.

"I believe I shall knock next time." Harry and Revy just rolled their eyes and replace the guns to their current resting place.

"That would be a fuckin' smart idea wouldn't it." Revy slumped back onto the bed.

"Well shall we get on? As I have much to do for today I have asked my deputy head, Minerva McGonagall to assist you in the gathering of your school supplies." At this Dumbledore stepped sideways to reveal the woman stood behind him.

Minerva McGonagall was quite an imposing figure in the black robes she had chosen to wear, the lines on her face showed her wisdom and maturity as well as her age, most would describe her as a figure not to cross.

"What is with wizards and being so fuckin' old?" Revy wasn't one to take note of those who shouldn't be crossed.

"How dare you..." Minerva was about to launch into a lecture until Dumbledore held up his hand.

"Indeed age comes with wisdom, although I could do without the wrinkles." The glare Minerva had directed at Revy told Dumbledore it was going to be an interesting shopping trip.

* * *

Yeah this is a boring chapter, no backstory stuff and no one dies... next chapter is where things begin to pick up.

I do have permission from SamJaz to use what i am going to use in later chapters, might as well state it now.

Votes for how you want characters to end up, some may end up in Roanapur whilst others may just die outright... Who wants to see Luna working as a stripper? I could see Luna doing that... oddly enough cho chang and tonks too... odd that.

And yes i am British hence why unless its said by revy the term will be arse, if outside of revy speaking it is ass instead it means i messed up there so let me know... if that makes sense.

Next chapter is in the works so hold on for a little bit, i am a poor uni student, time is a precious thing.


	4. It's A Fuckin' Stick

And I'm back, Uni exams are OVER, yay.

The first Fuckin' trip into Diagon fuckin' alley, don't know how the fuck most of this will go yet.

Nim istar: I think Snape may get more than shot in the arse, and see if you can guess the new teacher.

Fez8745: there is a fuckin' reason I didn't fuckin' mention how Harry fuckin' kills, it fuckin' ties in to the new fuckin' teacher... sort of...

Kojiro Kun: The fuckin' reason I like Black fuckin' Lagoon is because of it's fuckin' darker side... come to the dark side, we have porn... and cookies. Fuck yeah.

Omega Deuse: Taken into account, Thanks for the input.

Aliestrikehero: Not quite on the fuckin' right track with the fuckin' teacher, as a hint the fuckin' teacher isn't quite a fuckin' OC, he is in fact a fuckin' Cameo shout out to one of my fave fuckin' fanfics and one of my fave fuckin' games, yes the teacher is a fuckin' fanfic version of a fuckin' game character... what can I say I fail at OCs.

ButterFlyHeart12321: Sorry this took so fuckin' long, trying to keep Minerva fuckin' alive was difficult...

Blaise Simpson: Draco may end up with more than one fuckin' breathing hole but he will live... for now anyway...

At some point there may be an extra chapter, told from Revy's point of view, it'll start from when she's about five to when she's about ten, a five year one shot, if it does appear it will be much later in the story as for the moment I want to keep some parts of her past hidden. If people have enough interest I'll write it.

On with the show, Fuck yeah.

Black Magic Lagoon

It's a fuckin' stick

"So where the fuck do you buy stuff like this?" Revy was currently looking at the list of school supplies she and Harry had been supplied by Minerva whilst drinking another bottle of Rum from the crate she and Harry had been supplied, and nearly emptied, the previous night.

Minerva McGonagall found herself twitching as she fought to not reprimand Revy for her swearing.

As a teacher Minerva was firm in her belief that people shouldn't be drinking or swearing until they left Hogwarts and as such ensured she was never caught doing either by her students, as it was she had been informed by Albus that any attempts to change the way the two eleven year olds lived would likely result in her death.

The calmness that had been shown by Albus as he spoke told her of how serious he was as he told her in no uncertain terms to avoid mentioning certain subjects, their pasts, their weapons, swearing, drinking and smoking were all on the list of not talk.

One thing Albus had been sure of was that neither Harry nor Revy were going to be fighting for the light, the only thing they would fight for was themselves.

There was one thing Minerva was sure about, the look in Harry and Revy's eyes scared her more than the one time she had faced down He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, that moment still gave her nightmares and she had no doubt that Harry and Revy would give her many more in the years to come.

* * *

"You know, after an entryway like that they could have done something to make the rest a bit more impressive." Harry raised a critical eyebrow as he stared at Diagon alley.

"You got that right." Revy didn't seem that impressed either.

Minerva stopped herself from speaking, she had the sinking feeling that was going to be a common occurrence.

"So how are we going to pay for all of this then?"

Minerva took note of the wary look she was getting from Revy.

"Although there is a fund supplied by the school I have been assured by the headmaster that it will not be needed." Minerva took that as the end of the discussion.

Unfortunately Minerva didn't take into account how little respect for authority Revy had, which wasn't that much at all.

"What makes him think that?" Minerva missed the subtle movements of Revy reaching her for guns and Harry slowing down slightly with his right hand in his pocket and his left slowly creeping up to where his guns were held in a shoulder harness like Revy's beneath his jacket.

"The headmaster assured me that the Potter family was fairly well off and he seemed quite sure that Harry wouldn't let the only person close to him go with second hand stuff when he could quite easily afford to pay for both of you." Minerva seemed to be quite pleased that Harry would be so generous to his friend.

Revy laughed.

"Both me and Harry are well off enough ourselves, it's not like I need handouts."

Minerva looked at Revy with a stern glare.

"And what is that supposed to mean Miss Rebecca?"

Revy glared at Minerva.

"Don't ever call me Rebecca." Revy kept her glare on Minerva.

One thing Minerva would never forget was the sheer hate in Revy's eyes.

* * *

"Well at least this is impressive." Revy looked up at the white building and it's bronze doors.

Harry was practically back to back with Revy and his eyes were darting from one person to the next as if he was expecting an attack.

"Are you alright Mr. Potter?" Minerva reached out towards Harry with the intention of resting her hand on Harry's shoulder in a comforting gesture, before she could come in contact with Harry his left arm had snapped out and caught her hand in a vice like grip.

Minerva felt the crushing pressure on her hand and realised that Harry could quite easily break most of the bones in her hand quite easily and if the look in his eye was any indication he would have no qualm about killing her let alone about breaking her hand into several pieces.

That scared her more than she would ever admit.

Revy looked over her shoulder at Minerva in surprise.

"Normally he'd just kill you for touching him, count yourself lucky."

With that Harry let go of Minerva and turned to walk into the bank.

* * *

Harry stared at all the desks in the high ceiling lobby of Gringotts, in particular the money and the rather short and ugly figures counting the money.

To be honest he wasn't really staring, after having being exposed to various things over his short life it was difficult to for Harry to find himself surprised.

"I count two, neither of them look official." Revy's voice was low as she spoke from just behind him, Harry gave a short nod, of agreement.

"I don't like it, the old man assured us we'd be under the radar, one will be his, after seeing Roanapur he knows to have at least two people watching us, I want to know who tail number 2 is." Revy headed towards one of the desks where people were lining up with Harry close behind.

"You holding together?" Revy looked over her shoulder at Harry.

"Only just." To anyone but Revy Harry would look the personification of calm. Only Revy could see the small twitches in the thumb and index finger on Harry's right hand and the subtle movement in his left shoulder.

"If you can hold out till the end of this fuckin' shopping trip it should be alright, we don't want to kill everyone here now do we." several people looking at Revy felt a sudden chill that had nothing to do with the British weather.

Minerva hurried in to catch up with Harry and Revy as they approached one of the desks people were queuing at. Neither of them seemed to care about the glare they were being given by the Scottish professor.

"Do either of you know what you're doing?" Revy just shrugged whilst Harry just looked around without seeming to care about the harsh whisper directed at them.

"Dealing with goblins is tricky at the best of times and recently they have been causing more trouble than usual, it wouldn't do to cause a goblin rebellion due to ignorance." Minerva spoke in hushed tones, wary of the goblins overhearing. Revy grinned.

"I wouldn't mind, I enjoy a good scrap, been too fuckin' long since I got into a good fight." Minerva felt a sudden chill at Revy's bloodthirsty grin.

"Next Please." Minerva was saved from responding by the goblin at the counter. Revy and Harry followed Minerva to stand by the desk. After clearing her throat Minerva spoke with the goblin.

"I wish to make a withdrawal from Mr. Harry Potter's Vault." The goblin looked over Minerva before looking at Harry and Revy, the goblins eyes widened slightly before focusing on Harry, as soon as he did the goblins eyes immediately darted towards Harry's forehead. Upon spotting the lighting bolt scar peaking out from beneath Harry's fringe the goblin gave a satisfied nod.

"Does Mr. Potter have his vault key." Minerva produced a small gold key from within her robes that she handed to the goblin. Revy gave Harry a meaningful look as the goblin examined the key.

"Everything appears to be in order, is there anything else Gringotts can do for you today?" Although the goblin was speaking to Minerva he was looking more towards Harry.

"That will be al-" Minerva was cut off by Harry.

"I'd like to get a statement of current assets and a document of past transactions." Minerva began glaring at Harry whilst the goblin nodded and wrote something on his ledger.

"That can be arranged for you Mr. Potter, is there anything else Gringotts can do for you today?" Minerva frowned at the unusually courteous goblin.

"That will be all" Minerva was annoyed when the goblin looked to Harry for confirmation that their business was concluded.

After Harry nodded to the goblin they were led from the desk by a second goblin with assurances that the requested documents would be given to them as they left the bank.

The second goblin led Harry, Revy and Minerva through a door off to the side of the main foyer. Immediately through the gilded door the fancy marble flooring and walls were replaced by narrow corridors of stone with torches held in steel brackets on the wall, Revy snorted.

"This place is just like a cheep hooker, looks good at first and when you get down to the prize you usually find a nasty package." Minerva could have sworn she heard the goblin laugh at Revy's comment and this time she couldn't bite back what she wanted to say.

"Would you stop using such vulgar language young lady." Minerva was surprised when Revy suddenly started laughing, Aside from the marauders and the Weasley twins after a prank no one had laughed whilst she had being giving them a reprimand.

The thing that unnerved Minerva the most was that Revy sounded like she was enjoying herself.

"You really don't understand do you? I've lived most of my life without my parents, I really don't need you to be lecturing me on good and evil, trust me, I enjoy evil." Revy gave a last glance and turned to follow the grinning goblin, Harry gave a dispassionate look at Minerva and followed Revy.

Minerva had the feeling she had just failed some sort of test.

By the time Minerva caught up with her two charges and the goblin they were already sat in the cart the goblins used to travel down to the vaults.

"Even Benny's car is better than this heap of shite." Revy was quite vocal as she sat in the cart with her arms folded in front of her chest.

"Revy, shut the fuck up." Harry was sat next to Revy and unlike Revy seemed quite calm.

"Fuck you." The goblin laughed.

"The two of you are a refreshing change of pace." Minerva found herself staring at the goblin. "Usually most wizards are a bunch of stuck up pricks." Revy and Harry laughed.

"Those are the kind of people we leave in a body-bag." Minerva was shocked at the callous way Harry admitted to having killed people.

"Saying that can get you killed in the wizerding world you know?" The goblin didn't look at Harry or Revy as he spoke, choosing instead to face forwards.

"We're already the walking dead." Minerva nearly missed the whispered comment from Revy.

* * *

Revy whistled at the large pile of gold sat in the vault.

"That's a lot of money, reminds me of that raid we did with the Sun Yee On." Harry nodded.

"Just how much is this anyway?" Harry looked over towards Minerva. Getting the hint Minerva took a look into the vault.

"Well the pile of bronze coins are Knuts, twenty nine of those are equal to one of the silver coins which are called Sickles. Seventeen Sickles equal a Galleon, one of the gold coins. I'd say you have enough money here to last until well after your grand-kids are dead." Revy laughed.

"That's a stupid way to work with money, Twenty-nine and Seventeen, stupid numbers." Minerva chose to be honest.

"Most wizards lack common sense." Revy raised an eyebrow whist Harry laughed.

"I can tell, so Revy, reckon I'd be able to get that M16 with this." The psychotic grin that came across Harry's face scared Minerva.

Revy looked at the small goblin.

"What's the conversion rate of these Galleons to... we're in England so... pounds I think, What's the conversion rate from Galleons to Pounds?" The goblin gave a smirk.

"One galleon is equivalent to 5 Great British pounds." Revy blinked.

"Damn. Just how much are we gonna need today?"

"Twenty galleons should be more than enough."

* * *

Harry's eyes were narrowed as he left Gringotts and Minerva kept close to Revy at a distance of nearly a meter, what worried Minerva the most was the nervous look Revy kept shooting at Harry, Harry had been reading his list of assets and previous transactions when he had got angry.

"What's wrong?" Revy gave a smirk at Minerva question.

"When I get angry I kill people, I don't care who I kill just as long as I kill someone, when Harry gets really angry, which doesn't happen often, body parts fly and everyone dies, last I heard from Boss Chang a few guys in China were still trying to piece together body parts from a few years ago" Forcing down the bile in her throat at how casually Revy spoke Minerva found herself asking a question she didn't want to know.

"How many years ago?" Revy scratched the back of her head with one hand.

"Damned if I know, my memory isn't so good." Minerva gave a curious glance towards Revy.

"Why is your memory not that good?" The moment Minerva saw Revy's eyes narrow she realised her mistake.

"It's none of your fucking business now shut the fuck up."

Minerva led Harry and Revy to Ollivander's wand shop in silence. Stopping outside the shop she turned to the two, noting that Harry seemed far less angry and a lot more determined had Minerva worried for whoever was set in his sights.

"So what's In here?" Minerva involuntary shivered at the dead tone from Harry.

"This is the shop where you will get a wand." Revy just gave her a flat stare.

"What does a wand look like anyway cause I know a few different meanings of the word." Minerva looked at Revy as Harry suddenly face-palmed.

"You remember what the old fuck used to get us off that boat?" Revy blinked as she looked at Harry.

"You mean a piece of paper and a... stick... It's a fuckin' stick, a wand is a fuckin' stick." Harry nodded.

"That's right."

"Fuck."

* * *

Just so people know, Umbridge, Luna, Cho and Tonks, all four's fates have been mostly decided.


	5. Fuckin' Weed

_**I am Fuckin' back.**_ As fuckin' soon as I fuckin' post this i'm fuckin' going to fuckin' bed as it is fuckin' approaching fuckin' 4 in the fuckin' morning, (Look for fuckin' spelling fuckin' mistakes in the fuckin' latter part of the fuckin' chapter) In the fuckin' morning I begin chapter fuckin' 6 which I hope to fuckin' have out before I fuckin' move into student fuckin' housing on September the first.

The Sinful: Revy as a fuckin' schoolgirl is crazy fuckin' awesome and the greatest fuckin' cluster fuck in fuckin' history.

Chi Vayne: Snape is a fuckin' magnificent fuckin' bastard. From his experience with the fuckin' Dark Wanker he will fuckin' survive. But everyone fuckin' slips up sometime. Draco is fuckin' dead, when, not sure, but he will not fuckin' survive past third fuckin' year. That is fuckin' decided.

Aliestrikehero: Pairings are not fuckin' decided although this will fuckin' probably be a fuckin' Harry/Revy fic, with fuckin' both of them fuckin' getting a bit fuckin' more on the fuckin' way probably, as to fuckin' lemons (pun fuckin' intended), possibly, i've never fuckin' tried to fuckin' write one so I fuckin' doubt I fuckin' could, although if someone wants to fuckin' write lemon scenes for this fuckin' story feel free to fuckin' contact me about it. Rooming area will at first be the fuckin' dorms, later on their fuckin' own.

Illusive Man: Sirius will be in fuckin' Roanapur, just not with the fuckin' lagoon company.

Dylanredefined: The fuckin' end of this chapter will fuckin' show you why this story won't end so fuckin' quickly, Harry and Revy do get to fuckin' unwind, with fuckin' consequence naturally.

Talkofseptember: I am fuckin' honoured.

Blinded in a bolthole: …. You sir are a fuckin' GENIOUS. Wizard fuckin' indeed. I haven't given much fuckin' thought to Benny's age so i'll fuckin' write it as I go along. I have fuckin' plans for Rock, He's Number fuckin' 3.

lordamnesia: Your fuckin' review is Fuckin' awesome.

Dessel Ordo: Damn fuckin' right is she not gonna fuckin' wear robes, I think a fuckin' dragon hide jacket would go fuckin' nicely, _Hint Hint_. I actually fuckin' think my characterisation fuckin' sucks, I can't seem to fuckin' get myself into the right fuckin' frame of fuckin' mind for writing the fuckin' characters, Revy in fuckin' particular.

0iris: I like your fuckin' idea's. Now then, to what fuckin' extent should Ginny be Revy's fuckin' bitch do you fuckin' think, just a 'go here do that' kind of thing or a more S&M thing, or something in the fuckin' middle.

Darklooshkin: Hufflepuff? Although fuckin' interesting what kind of fuckin' loyalty do either of them fuckin' have?

* * *

**Black Magic Lagoon**

**Fuckin' Weed**

Ollivander frowned as the three people stepped into his shop. It had been a long while since he had seen Minerva, the lines around her eyes showed far too much stress, surviving a war and being a teacher would perhaps be cause for that though.

What worried Ollivander was the two young charges, the boy he had been expecting, after all, it was only logical that one day, perhaps it may have been many years from when it should have happened but it was inevitable that Harry would find his way here.

Harry was different from what he had expected, the Headmaster had once visited shortly after the death of the Potter family and handed him a single phoenix feather, after a short discussion Ollivander had learned that Harry was to live with his relatives. He had expected to see a young boy, just beginning his teens, perhaps a bit rough around the edges as teenagers were often to be.

What he was looking at now was a young boy with hardened, dead eyes and a stride that spoke of his status as a veteran of many life or death battles. The girl next to Harry was much the same and Ollivander could tell that the two were dangerous and knew how to watch each other's back in a life or death situation.

"Ah, professor, It was only a few days ago you were bringing me new students, it seems that you had another few hiding somewhere." The eccentric act was just that, an act, although people made such brilliant faces about it, Minerva made excellent faces, she never did like the eccentric act.

"These two were... a bit late." Ollivander could tell she had wanted to say something else but he was honestly at a loss as to what, both the young children were very much an enigma to Ollivander, he could often tell just by basic mannerisms how and where someone was brought up, mainly around Europe but he had visited and studied some eastern cultures as well, only with these two Ollivander found himself unknowing at the mix of culture they displayed.

"So they need their wands do they?" Ollivander always loved this bit, seeing what carnage would be caused, it wasn't like a wave of his own wand couldn't fix any damage and the looks people had when they broke things was something that Ollivander found amusing.

It was disappointing for Ollivander to find that Harry was calm when things began to break. It took a while and a lot of breakages and a fire before Ollivander headed towards the wand he had sincerely hoped he would never sell. It wasn't the wand was inadequate in any way, it was only because of the core used to make this particular wand.

Taking the wand, rather reluctantly, Ollivander returned to the front of his shop holding the box almost fearfully before setting down on the counter and taking half a step back.

"I was afraid young Mr. Potter, that this wand would be the one to choose you." Almost immediately Harry took a step back with his right hand moving into his pocket as his left slowly moved to open the box and remove the wand held within the box.

As soon as Harry held the wand Ollivander's eyes narrowed, there was a red pulse from both the wand and Harry's eyes. Minerva let out a gasp as Revy stood up and took one of her guns from beneath her jacket and pointed it at Ollivander.

"I was afraid of that Mr. Potter. Every wand I sell is unique, no two wands use the wood from the same tree and no two wands use the core from the same animal. Except this one. This wand has a brother, and that brother did a great many things. Terrible and great things. The boy i sold that wand to was much like you although you are far more wild, more unrestrained." Ollivander shook his head. "I fear you will follow his path and perhaps become even more feared than he was."

"Shut the fuck up or I will really fuckin' kill you." Ollivander look at Revy in surprise.

"There is no need for language young lady..." There was a click from Revy's gun as she removed the safety.

"Fuck you, I will fuckin' swear if I want now shut the fuck I really don't want to spend all fuckin' day in this fuckin' shit hole." Ollivander sighed.

"It seems your friend would like me to hurry up, regardless, Holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, fairly quick and ready." Revy snorted in laughter.

"Fuckin' bigger than the other..."

"Shut the fuck up Revy. Now isn't the time." Ollivander chose to cut in.

"Now then, please settle down and we shall find a suitable wand for your friend Mr. Potter."

Ollivander found himself repairing things a whole lot more whilst trying to find a wand for Revy. She went out of her way to break things, smiling and laughing as she did. Ollivander sighed as he handed Revy another wand, his own at the ready.

A blast of pure energy shattered every bit of glass in the room and sent the window to the shop scattering across Diagon alley. There were a few surprised screams from outside the shop that quickly died away as people kept moving in the busy street. Ollivander hastily waved his wand and all the glass repaired itself.

"Walnut and Dragon Heartstring, nine inches, unyielding and powerful. I think that we can expect great things from you two. Terrible beyond the likes of which the wizarding world has ever seen. Terrible, but great."

* * *

Outside the shop Revy glared at Minerva.

"How much longer is this fuckin' piece of shit shopping trip gonna take god dammit because I swear if I have to put up with more fuckin' crazy ass bastards like that someone is gonna fuckin' die." Harry shook his head.

"Calm down Revy, lets just get this shit done." Revy looked at Harry, taking in the slight twitch of his right eyebrow.

"Alright fine, where do we go next?" Minerva set off walking.

"Flourish and blotts, the book store."

"What kind of fuckin' wimpy ass name is that."

* * *

"A history of magic. Fuck, fuckin' history." The visit to Flourish and Blotts had been mercifully short as far as Minerva was concerned.

Despite Revy shouting and swearing at every living thing in the shop.

"Why do you dislike the past so much?"

"What good does the fuckin' past do, its fuckin' done with."

* * *

"Just your uniform's to get now." There was a scream of incoherent rage from behind her that Minerva knew was from Revy.

"Fuckin' Fuck." There was a sudden burst of laughter from Harry.

"I just thought of something funny, school girl outfit, and considering what you worked as a few years ago Revy..." Harry was cut off by another yell from Revy.

"Fuckin' ball-less no dick bastard I swear I am gonna fuckin' kill you." Harry took off running with Revy following.

"Stand still so I can shoot you like the little bitch you are."

Minerva took off after the two of them. By the time she had caught up to them there was a trickle of blood coming from the corner of Harry's mouth and Revy had a long shallow cut across her right cheek.

"Will you two calm down and stop this foolishness, we have one more stop." Revy folded her arms over her chest.

"Fine, lets go. Fuckin' bitch" There was a sense of calm from Revy's words that confused Minerva. She had gone from angry to an odd sense of calm.

As soon as she began moving Revy staggered before quickly righting herself and continued walking in an oddly relaxed manner.

* * *

"What the fuck. It's a fuckin' dress." Minerva sighed at Revy's rather loud statement.

"These are traditional wizarding robes that you will be expected to wear whilst at Hogwarts. This is non-negotiable." There was a sudden click from the silver object Harry was holding in his hand.

As soon as she saw the flame from the object Minerva drew her wand and summoned the item, seeing the flame go out as soon as the object left Harry's hand Minerva felt confident enough to catch the silver object.

"You will not be setting anything on fire Mr. Potter."

"Fuck."

Minerva kept her wand in hand as Madam Malkin started measuring Harry and Revy to make their school robes. It was an odd experience, Revy seemed unable to stand and Harry was so tense and still Minerva began to wonder if he had been switched with a statue.

As soon as Madam Malkin was done Harry practically ran out the door, the only thing that stopped Minerva following was the flash of blue she caught in the crowd. Instead she turned her attention to Revy who was a lot more stable than before and seemed almost unconcerned with how Harry was acting.

"What's going on?" Revy sighed.

"Harry's not so good with crowds or people. He's alright most of the time but having that bitch so close to him got him real wound up, he's just gone somewhere to calm down." Minerva sighed.

* * *

It was a few hours later when Harry showed up back in the room he and Revy had at the Leaky Cauldron. Revy had spent the time cleaning two silver objects that she had carried beneath her jacket that Minerva found she couldn't identify.

Minerva herself spent her time pacing around, often flicking open the lighter she had got from Harry, Revy had explained it's use and Minerva had found it fascinating, if oddly simple.

As soon as Harry had entered the room Revy looked at him for a second before nodding. Harry just gave a quick wave as he sat on his bed.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I'm fuckin' fine." Minerva frowned before she handed Harry his lighter.

"I expect I won't see the two of you until September the first, I also don't expect you will keep out of trouble but I hope you will stay out of any serious trouble." After giving a stern glare at the other two occupants of the room Minerva left to return to Hogwarts.

Almost as soon as she left Revy started digging around in her bag before pulling out a white object resembling a cigarette and passing it to Harry.

"Is this fuckin' weed?" Revy grinned.

"Fuck yeah it is, and you know what, Rum and Weed are a real good way of relaxing." Harry laughed.

* * *

**Just a few things.**

**Blinded in a bolthole brought up Benny's age. I haven't given thought to his age at all, should he be younger, 11, 16, same age? I could roll with any really I just wonder what people think. I thinking more 16/17 myself.**

**0iris suggested Ginny being Revy's bitch as he put it. Would it be better as a more Bodyguard/enforcer kind of thing, or perhaps a more sexual orientated thing. Or even a full on slave and Master thing with the whole collar and whip stuff.**

**Answers on a post card please.**


	6. Fuckin' Riot

14 fuckin' reviews in fuckin' 24 fuckin' hours, hell fuckin' yeah. Al-fuckin'-right, right fuckin' now it's just fuckin' before fuckin' one in the fuckin' morning for me, i'm fuckin' knackered from fuckin' moving most of my fuckin' shit to my new fuckin' place. But I fuckin' finished this just for you fuckin' guys. Doubt I'll fuckin' be able to do fuckin' much of the next fuckin' chapter as all of my Harry fuckin' Potter and Black fuckin' Lagoon books are fuckin' at my new fuckin' place, I move in on fuckin' thursday but I won't fuckin' have fuckin' internet for a while, we'll see how it fuckin' goes.

The Sinful: I have a fuckin' plan for a precision fuckin' F strike, it'll be a fuckin' little while yet but it's already fuckin' planned.

SeanHicks4: Deadpool is a fuckin' badass. Ginny will fuckin' rebel, big fuckin' style. Fuckin' Pairings are kinda fuckin' undecided yet but i'll fuckin' get there.

Dylanredefined: Heh, I fuckin' doubt Revy would even fuckin' bother with a safe fuckin' word. Although fuckin' seeing the fuckin' argument between Molly and a Revy fuckin' mentored Ginny would be fuckin' epic.

0iris: ...are you a fuckin' shrink by any chance? Although having Ginny at the fuckin' mercy of the fuckin' fucked up entity that is fuckin' Revy is indeed fuckin' interesting. Although by what you fuckin' say I can only fuckin' imagine the fuckin' relationship between Revy and fuckin' Balalaika. Not fuckin' decided anything about Hermione fuckin' yet, I can fuckin' see her going the fuckin' bad girl road and fuckin' ending up something like Balalaika... go fuckin' figure.

Chargone: I can fuckin' see Revy and Luna getting fuckin' along as well, i'll have to fuckin' think about that.

Dessel Ordo: I have a fuckin' possible plan for Ron, it's... fuckin' intersting. Like watching a fuckin' car crash interesting.

Chi Vayne: Snape always fuckin' stuck me as the fuckin' type to fuckin' survive by fuckin' kissing up to the fuckin' powerhouses, He will fuckin' survive, for a fuckin' while at fuckin' least, not fuckin' sure beyond fuckin' that. Handing Harry another fuckin' weapon, well, After fuckin' reading the books one fuckin' thing fuckin' stands out to me, having fuckin' magic tends to fuckin' make you loose fuckin' common fuckin' sense. Fuckin' School fuckin' full of fuckin' irresponsible fuckin' children, fuckin' give them all fuckin' weapons of mass fuckin' destruction.

* * *

**Black Magic Lagoon**

**Fuckin' Riot**

"Well then, this is fun." Revy grinned as she reloaded her Cutlass' and took aim at a man running away from her and Harry. A quick squeeze of the trigger and the man's head exploded in a shower of red.

Two quick shots from Harry shot out the knees of a young girl who had been cowering in a dark doorway. Her screams of pain were cut off as her head rolled away from her body in a spurt of blood as Harry got near.

"You know, that is creepy and so cool at the same time." Revy grinned as she took aim and killed another young kid.

"Makes things easier any..." Harry was cut off as several bullets sped past him and Revy, one just cutting Revy's cheek and a second stopping dead in the air in front of Harry before hitting the floor.

"Shit, I thought England didn't have armed police." More bullets shot down the street as Revy took cover in an alleyway whilst Harry ducked into a door way.

"They have a firearms unit or some such shit." Revy stepped out the corner of the alley and fired off three quick shots before ducking back into the alleyway. A few yells from where the armed police let Harry and Revy know that at least one officer had been shot and possibly killed.

"Feels like being back in Roanapur." Harry stepped out from his doorway fired off his own shots before ducking behind a car. A few scattered return shots shattered the windscreen of the car Harry was behind.

"What the fuck? These guys can't aim for shit. I say we kill them all." Revy grinned as she returned fire.

"Sounds good to me." More bullets hit the car Harry was hiding behind as he popped his head up to see where the people shooting at him were.

"Hey Revy, feel like starting a fire." Revy gave a manic grin as she fired around the corner.

"Always." Harry stood up and fired a few shots towards a car several people had taken cover behind, in particular towards the cover of the petrol tank.

There was a loud explosion and several screams.

"Shit, Harry move." Taking a look over his cover Harry's eyes widened when a second car exploded.

"Fuck." Harry sprinted towards the alley where Revy had taken cover. A third explosion sounded just after he made it into the alley. Revy started laughing.

"Now this is how to have a good time, Fuckin' Riot." Another explosion came from the street. Harry and Revy quickly looked at each other before walking down the alley away from the explosions.

"Feels like home." Revy grinned as Harry's off hand comment.

"You know, there a whole lot of shops here." Harry cocked his head to the side.

"Feel like doing some armed robbery?" Revy reloaded her guns.

"When am I not up for some senseless lawbreaking and violence?" Harry paused in mid-stride as he thought.

"When...uh...no that was still lawbreaking...i can't actually think of a time when you aren't breaking some sort of law."

"Fuck Yeah"

* * *

Both Revy and Harry had their guns drawn when they walked into the shop. It took only a few moments for the entire shop to fall silent and move out the way.

In an almost casual manner Revy shot into the crowd and a middle aged woman dropped to the floor with blood pouring from where her left eye had been.

"Down on the ground, wallets, phones, valuables and shit in the bag." Harry holstered one of his guns and pulled a black bag from a pocket on the leg of his pants. Whilst Harry went around collect the various valuables Revy kept one eye on the street and the other eye watching Harry's back just in case.

There were some whimpers and protests but everyone pretty much handed stuff over. The still warm body in the room helped with people being compliant. There was one fairly muscled man who tried to be a hero, he was left rolling on the floor screaming with blood spurting from the two stumps that had been his arms.

Fairly soon Harry was back at the front of the shop with a fairly full bag and a wide grin on his face, a grin that was soon copied by Revy.

The two quickly left the shop and started running towards the general direction of the Leaky Cauldron as the shop they had been in exploded in a wave of heat and noise.

* * *

Harry felt his head throb in time with the knocks on the door, Slowly rolling out of bed and making sure he had at least a pair of pants on headed towards the door.

There had been a time when he had forgotten to check if he was actually wearing anything when he had woken up from drinking the previous night. It had led to an interesting situation with Revy.

Opening the door Harry found a rather subdued Tom, the man who was usually down at the bar.

"I hope you're not planning to head out to London today, there were a series of incidents last night and there has been fighting and looting going on since the early hours of the morning." Harry just nodded sleepily.

"We weren't planning on it." Tom gave a nod before he shuffled off leaving Harry with the feeling that the news of fighting and looting in London should mean something to him. Closing the door and turning around it occurred to Harry why that information should mean something to him.

There were sheets of LSD, empty syringes and a bag of cocaine on the table next to a pile of wallets and jewlery.

And Revy was sleeping on a pile of money.

"Oh. Oh fuck."

* * *

"So you're fuckin' telling me we got so fuckin' high we went and fuckin' robbed a load of shit and killed a load of fuckers." Revy had woken up better than Harry, probably because she was used to taking a lot of drugs anyway, despite that her eyes were bloodshot and unfocused.

"Pretty much." Harry shrugged as he looked through some of the wallets he had obtained.

"Fuck." Revy stretched as she stood and Harry tried to keep his eyes on the wallets he was going through as opposed to Revy's boobs.

Revy had a habit of sleeping naked when she got drunk or got high, which happened on an almost daily basis. Harry was rather used to seeing Revy without clothing. He was still a guy though. A guy well aware of Revy's temper.

"You know we got really fuckin' high last night?" Harry looked at Revy curiously.

"Yeah..." Revy doubled over as she threw up on the floor.

* * *

"What the fuck are we doing here?" Revy was glaring around the main room of gringotts as both her and Harry walked towards one of the free counters where a surly goblin was sat.

"What can Gringotts do for you today?" Harry grinned.

"We need to do some investments, I heard this is the best place to deal with such things." The goblin gave a crooked smile that showed off far too many teeth.

"I believe we can help you Mr. Potter. If you would wait a few moments we would be much obliged." Harry smirked as he stepped away from the counter dragging a rather confused Revy with him as the goblin at the counter leaned over to an aide and whispered to him.

"What the fuck is going on? What the fuck were you on about?" Revy rounded on Harry and stopped short of drawing her cutlass.

"Something Dutch told me. Pretty much we take all that money, give it to shops and shit, they have more money to buy stuff to sell, they make more money, some of that money comes back to us." Revy cocked her head to the side.

"You mean we make money by doing shit all?" At Harry nod Revy hands went into the air.

"Fuck Yeah." After a few short moments a short goblin approached the two.

"Mr. Potter, I understand you have an interest in Investments?" Harry nodded.

"Yeah."

"Follow me if you will." The small goblin led Harry and Revy to a small office off to the side of the main lobby. The office itself was well furnished with a desk and five chairs. The goblin sat in one chair and Harry dragged Revy to the chairs on the other side of the desk.

Once every one was sat down the goblin leaned forwards.

"What can I help you with today?" Harry's grin matched the grin of the goblin.

"We have recently got our hands on some money, we want to invest it to make more. I've heard you goblins are rather cut throat at money but stick to the contract." The goblin gave a deep nod.

"Our business tactics are efficient, although not often appreciated." Harry gave a grim smile.

"What about... non-legal matters." The goblin leaned back with something resembling amusement on his face.

"To us, the contract is the only legal law for us to follow." Revy laughed as Harry continued.

"This is what I want, three vaults, one that this money goes into and gets taken out for investments, one vault where twenty percent of the profits go into for me, a second vault where another twenty percent of the profits go into for my partner and the bank takes a ten percent cut. The remaining fifty percent goes back into the first vault to be used for more investment." The goblin leaned forwards in anticipation.

"I believe you want us to do all the investment work." At Harry's nod the goblin continued. "The two vaults you own would need to be under false names, to protect yourselves should any illegal activities be found out. As unlikely as that is."

"I'll use Tiger." Harry elbowed Revy in the side to prompt her and received a smack to the back of the head in return.

"Reaper."

* * *

"What the fuck was all that about and where the fuck did you learn all that shit?" Harry sighed at Revy's question as he sat down.

"I learnt from Chang and Dutch, comes in handy every now and again." Revy cocked her head.

"Chang taught you that shit, why the fuck would he do that?" Harry shrugged.

"Not a fuckin' clue." Revy sat down with a bottle of rum and threw a second to Harry.

"What the fuck was that shit all about anyway?" Harry smirked as he picked up a wallet from the pile of those he and Revy had stolen.

"When I got a list of my money and shit I found some stuff out, like someone was stealing money, that old fuck has been stealing my fuckin' money. I wanted us to get a source of money." Revy blinked a few times.

"Right." Harry chuckled before he cocked his head as he looked in the wallet in his hand.

"She can't be fuckin' legal." Revy's head snapped over to Harry.

"What the fuck you on about?" Harry slipped the picture out the wallet and handed it to Revy.

"She might not be legal but damn is she hot." Revy slipped the picture into her pocket.

"You actually gonna keep that?" Revy gave a cocky smirk at Harry question.

"Free porn is free porn."

* * *

**You Like ?**

**It seems to me that Ginny being Revy's slave in everything is a liked idea. Kinky bastards.**

**Still nothing on what you think of Benny's age. You guys not like Benny?**

**Alright, Sleep now, or not seen as i got a 2-liter bottle of irn bru and the internet at my disposal... yeah, thats gonna work out well.**


	7. Fuckin' Trains

**Reposted because as some people pointed out my sentence structure sucked, cleaned it up and reposted, thanks to those who pointed shit out for me to do to make this better, should be posting 8 by sunday, hopefully.**

Fuck Yeah, that's fuckin' right, another fuckin' one. What can i fuckin' say i fuckin' like this story. Anyways, i am officially fuckin' moved in and currently fuckin' using the fuckin' Uni computer to fuckin' post this.

On to more fuckin' important shit.

The Sinful: True, Benny might not fuckin' compare to some of the other fuckin' characters but he still has to be fuckin' somewhat of a fuckin' badass to still be alive.

Chargone: It does fuckin' seem to be fuckin' inevitable, i'll fuckin' deal with it as it comes. And that fuckin' rampage bitting them in the fuckin' arse, big time, just fuckin' later.

SeanHicks4: Benny's fuckin' age isnt fuckin' important yet, i'd just fuckin' like to fuckin' know what people fuckin' think, i'm going into fuckin' stuff i've not fuckin' done before so it fuckin' helps to have a bit of fuckin' light in the fuckin' dark. As to Hagrid, i fuckin' really don't fuckin' know yet, that's why he's not fuckin' shown up.

Dessel Ordo: Wizarding World Mob...Fuck yeah. well Harry and Revy might not be fuckin' in it but i am so fuckin' having that in now.

* * *

**Black Magic Lagoon**

**Fuckin' Trains**

"Good morning you two." Dumbledore paused mid stride as two bullets just missed either side of his head and slammed into the wall behind him.

"Morning is any fuckin' thing but fuckin' good you old fuck." Revy was as polite as she always was in a morning, not at all.

Dumbledore averted his gaze from Revy as she rolled out of bed. Harry on the other hand gazed out the window.

"Why the fuck are up this fuckin' early?" Harry yawned as he spoke.

Dumbledore gave a pleased smile that reminded Harry of the people he had met in his younger years.

"Today is September the first, all students ride the train from here to where the school is located."

Revy shook her head. "Fuckin' trains."

Harry laughed at Revy's comment.

"I am most assured that there is a story there I would be better off not knowing, in any case I will wait downstairs whilst you prepare yourselves." With that Dumbledore left the room, mindful of the fact Harry had kept his gun trained on him.

* * *

For Dumbledore the trip through London to Kings Cross Station was an enlightening one. Both Harry and Revy insisted on wearing their hoods up through out the entire trip and every time either so much as saw a police officer their hands instantly went to a place where they could draw their weapons quickly without seeming suspicious.

It told Dumbledore that they had been involved in if not started the fires, riots and looting that had swept through London leaving many dead.

What had also been enlightening was Harry's offhand comment part way through the trip.

"You wouldn't happen to know of a reason money is been taken out of my family account on a monthly basis would you?" Dumbledore's face drained of colour at Harry's calm comment.

"I believe I do, it is also something I should have stopped the same day I set it up. I will rectify the error and have the money returned."

Harry smirked. "Thought so."

* * *

"What the fuck?" Revy staggered backwards from the formerly solid wall she had just walked through. There were several disapproving glares that came her way but no one said anything.

"Shit." Harry nearly overturned his cart loaded with stuff as he came through the barrier separating Kings Cross Station and Platform nine and three quarters.

"Fucking crazy arse mother fuckers." Although he spoke quietly it was still loud enough to be heard by some of those nearby. There some were murmurs from some of the adults nearby as Revy laughed at Harry whilst he regained control over his cart.

"Come on, lets get on this fuckin' thing." Revy turned around and started walking towards the bright red hogwarts express. Harry muttered something under his breath and Revy turned around to face Harry.

"What the fuck was that?"

Harry smirked as he repeated what he said so that Revy could hear it. "You want a seat on the train or do you just want the hang on the back again?"

"Very funny." Harry had just enough time to duck Revy's right hook after her sarcastic comment.

Eventually Harry and Revy were sat in one of the compartments on the train, in the middle of the train.

Revy was looking out at the sea of people on the platform in disdain. "Fuckin' hell, I can't deal with all this fuckin' mushy shit."

Harry just shook his head as he cleaned the pieces of his stripped down Cutlasses. "Ease up Revy, Not everyone is as fuckin' messed up as us."

Revy sat back against the chair in a huff. "Whatever."

Harry sighed as he finished cleaning the guns and quickly reassembled them before holstering them in the shoulder harness he wore beneath his jacket.

"What the hell are we doing here Revy?"

Revy glanced over at Harry who was now looking out the window as the last people boarded the train.

"You're here to sort out the past aren't you?"

Harry sighed. "I was never bothered about the past before, why does it bother me now?"

Revy looked thoughtful, something that was a rare occurrence. "Because, you didn't have a way to find out about your past. Now you do."

Harry leaned forwards and rested his elbows on his knees. "If that's why i'm here... Then what about you?"

Revy grinned and thumped Harry on the shoulder. "I'm here to watch the back of my partner. Who knows what trouble you'd get into without me around."

Harry laughed.

"With you watching my back i'm almost guaranteed to get into more trouble than I would without you."

Revy joined Harry in laughing.

"Fuckin' A"

About five minutes later the door to the train compartment opened and a Red haired boy stuck his head trough the door.

"Mind if I sit in here, the only other seat is next to Malfoy and i'd rather die than take that seat."

Harry exchanged looks with Revy before nodding.

"Fuckin' ginger."

Ron glared at Revy. "Well you can shove off then in that's what your gonna be like."

Revy grinned whilst Harry chuckled nervously under his breath.

"Sit down you fuckin' tosser, I just wanted to fuckin' make sure you weren't some little pansy ass gay boy." Revy narrowed her eyes, almost challenging him to not walk off.

Ron gaped, looking much like a fish. "What?"

"I don't fuckin' like wimps, I just wanted to fuckin' see how tough you are."

Ron's face darkened. "And?"

Revy shrugged. "You'll do."

Ron grinned as he stepped into the compartment dragging his trunk and just managed to lift it up to the overhead rack by himself before throwing himself down into a seat with a huff.

Ron sat forward. "So who are you?"

"You first." Harry's tone was almost challenging.

Ron looked at Harry. "Alright, Ron Weasley." Ron held out his hand, Harry and Revy ignored it.

"Revy." Revy moved her hand in something that could be mistaken for a wave.

Harry shrugged. "Harry Potter."

Ron's jaw dropped open. "Your... your Harry Potter."

Harry glared at Ron. "That's what I just fuckin' said."

Ron still seemed dumbfounded. "THE Harry Potter."

Revy raised an eyebrow. "Bet there's a fuckin' story here."

Harry scowled as Ron nodded excitedly and started to explain.

"A while back there was this really dark wizard, he was killing loads of people and everyone was really scared. Then one night he attacked you, killed both your parents yet when he tried to kill you, the spell bounced back and killed him instead. No one knows how you survived, I mean, you were only one at the time."

Harry nodded as he thought over what Ron had said. "So who was this dark wizard?"

Ron grimaced. "We call him He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

Revy fell off her seat laughing. "You're too fuckin' scared to even say his name? That's fuckin' priceless."

Ron went bright red. "He's name is V-v-vold-" Ron took a deep breath. "Voldermort."

Revy laughed louder. "What kind of shitty assed name is that."

Ron look horrified. "He's a really feared dark wizard."

Harry just shrugged. "Who gives a fuck?"

Almost as soon as Revy had stopped laughing and Ron had stopped looking like a sun burnt fish the door to the compartment opened again.

"So it's true, Harry Potter is on the train." A pale haired boy stood at the door with two thuggish looking boys stood either side of him.

"This is Crabbe and this is Goyle, I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."

Revy muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'Shaken, not stirred' as her and Harry stood up.

Draco held out his hand and Harry reached out to take it before stepping forwards and clenching his fist as it impacted with Draco's Solar Plexus and knocked the wind out of him. As he doubled over Revy's fist impacted with his face with the unmistakeable sound of Draco's nose being broken in a shower of blood as he fell backwards and landed on his back staring at the ceiling.

As Draco hit the floor Harry drove his elbow into Crabbe's windpipe pushing the bigger boy back against the wall of the train where he slumped to the ground. As soon as Harry was clear of the door to the compartment Revy stepped over Draco before she kicked Goyle in the balls leaving him rolling on the floor in pain as she and Harry stepped back into their compartment.

"So, Ron, we're pretty new to all this magic shit, what can you tell us?" Ron's mouth was hanging open as he stared at the duo, still too surprised at the sudden second of violence for him to even register Harry's offhand comment.

It was a few hours later, about lunch time that the door opened and a short woman was stood outside the compartment with a trolley loaded with various sweets and snacks.

"Anything from the trolley dears?"

Ron held up a bag of sandwiches that had seen better days, Harry waved the woman off, instead continuing to read a book he had obtained whilst shopping, the cover was a deep red and lacked a title. Revy stood up and stepped out to have a look at what was on the trolley.

It was a minute or so later that Revy entered the compartment holding a few packets of sweet. "I have no fuckin' clue what any of these are but god fuckin' damm it i'm gonna eat them."

Ron seemed quite eager to help Revy and Harry learn what they could about the wizarding world. So far Ron had explained about the Statue of Secrecy, the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts and quite a lot of time explaining what Quidditch was.

Revy held up a bag that had a the name of 'Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.' "I fuckin' doubt that, every fuckin' flavour my fuckin' ass."

Ron shook his head. "They really mean every flavour, my brother George reckons he got a bogey flavour one once."

Harry raised an eyebrow over his book as Revy opened the bag. And took a bite out of one of the little beans.

"I don't have a fuckin' clue what the fuck flavour that was." It didn't stop her eating the rest of it before picking out another and eating that one whole. Ron and Harry laughed when Revy nearly spat it back out.

"What the fuck?" Revy started glaring at the bag.

"Harry, you remember that thing I was fuckin' complaining about a few fuckin' years back, about how the fuckin' taste stuck around for fuckin' forever?"

It took a few seconds but Harry nodded tentatively. "Yeah, I remember, you made sure to get paid a whole lot more than your usual that time."

Revy nodded as she took out another of the beans, grimacing at the thought of what flavour she would get next. "It was that fuckin' taste."

Ron seemed confused but Harry started laughing.

It was that scene that a bushy haired girl and a round faced boy opened the door to. "Have any of you seen a toad? Neville's lost one."

Ron shrugged whilst Harry continued laughing.

"Fuck off." Revy ate another of the beans and cocked her head. "Huh, Blood flavour."

The bushy haired girl seemed shocked. "There's no need to be so rude."

Ron seemed eager for there to be another fight when Revy stood up and stepped over to the girl. Harry tensed up, ready to jump up if he needed to.

"Shut the fuck up you little fuckin' bitch, i'll be as fuckin' rude as I fuckin' want to be and no little miss fuckin' goody two fuckin' shoes is gonna stop me, you fuckin' understand?"

The girl seemed afraid of Revy as she nodded and quickly left.

"Fuckin' little pansy bitch." Revy sat back down whilst Ron seemed to be thinking.

"Did you have to be so aggressive?"

Revy turned and glared at Ron.

"I've fuckin' enough of people fuckin' telling me what to fuckin' do so fuck you i'll be fuckin' aggressive if I fuckin' want."

Ron just shrugged. "Fair enough."

Harry eased back in seat as Revy grinned. "I think I fuckin' like this guy."

* * *

**And Ron and Hermionie have entered the story. Granted Hermionie didn't get along so well but oh well, thats for later.**


	8. Fuckin' Uniforms

Well Fuck, a full fuckin' day late on the fuckin' deadline I set myself. Fuck it.

On a serious note, thanks to those that pointed out my fuck up in the writing of the last chapter, that's fixed if you feel like re-reading it.

No real fuckin' replies to fuckin' reviews today. I can't be fuckin' arsed so fuck you.

It's been fuckin brought up once or fuckin' twice so i'll fuckin' say it. There will be fuckin' consequences for the fuckin' mindless crime spree, just not fuckin' yet.

Hermione will be a part of the fuckin' gang, eventually.

And a question that made me think, no swearing for this one, i'm thinking and shit. There are very few people who actually swear as much as Revy does, I know that people in rough neighbourhoods swear a lot, it's seen as a mark of how tough you are, it sort of becomes ingrained into you, Revy just hasn't got the instinct of sounding tough 24/7 out of her yet... that probably didn't even answer the question.

Fuck it. Onwards.

* * *

**Black Magic Lagoon**

**Fuckin' Uniforms**

"Ah fuck this." Revy threw the book she had been attempting to read in the seat next to her.

"You don't have much of an attention span do you?" Along with being eager to explain about the wizarding world Ron had been curious about his two new friends, he had been mostly unsuccessful in learning anything of note.

"Fuck you ginger." Revy yawned as she stood up. "Fuck this, I need a fuckin' piss."

Harry looked up from where he was examining his wand. "Don't get into any trouble Revy, we don't need any fuckin' more of it."

Revy just waved Harry off as she walked out the door. "I can fuckin' handle myself."

"That's what i'm worried about."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

It was a while later that Revy stalked into the compartment and threw herself into her seat. Following behind her was a tall boy wearing the black Hogwarts robes with a snake emblem on the left side and a small badge pinned beneath it that read prefect.

"What's this I hear about you two fighting?" The taller boy looked towards Harry and raised his eyebrow at the blank covered book next to Harry.

"Like I fuckin' said before, what the fuck does it have to fuckin' do with you or do I have to fuckin' break your fuckin' face as well." Revy was glaring at the taller boy.

"It's my business because as a prefect it's my job to stop people fighting on the train." The boy straightened his back to appear taller.

"The prick started a fight he couldn't finish." Harry stood up, keeping one hand in his pocket as he stared down the older boy.

There were a few seconds of tense silence, Ron looking back and forth between Harry and the older Prefect whilst Revy had a blood thirsty smile on her face as if she was anticipating something.

The prefect stepped back. "I'll inform Draco to watch himself if he can't handle his own fights." As he was stepping through the door the prefect turned around. "If you get sorted in Slytherin look me up, i'm sure you could use some help despite how well you handle yourself."

With that the boy left the compartment closing the door behind him. Harry collapsed back into his seat and shook his head at Revy disappointed look.

"We can't go picking a fuckin' fight with everyone Revy."

Revy gave a short bark of laughter, "I'll give it a fuckin' go."

Ron looked out the window at the now dark sky. "We should probably get changed into our uniforms, from what my brothers told me we should be nearly there."

Revy shook her head. "Fuck that, ain't no fuckin' way i'm wearing any fuckin' uniform."

Ron chose not to comment as he reached up to his trunk and managed to extract his robes which he hastily pulled on.

Revy stood up and lifted her own trunk from the overhead rack with a whole lot less trouble than Ron had lifted his up. After a quick look Revy took an object from her trunk and slipped it into her pocket before closing the lid and lifting the trunk back up to where it was on the rack.

"Revy, is that what I fuckin' thought it was?" Harry was looking out the window instead of at Revy.

"And what the fuck of it?" Revy was glaring at Harry.

"Just be careful."

"What on earth are you on about?" Ron seemed confused at what Harry and Revy were on about.

"Fuck off." Revy was looked at Harry with an odd look in her eyes that Ron couldn't place.

XxXxXxXxX

"Firs'-years! Firs'-years this way." The loud booming voice came from the left of Harry, Revy and Ron. Looking that way the three spotting a giant man with a lot of hair shouting and waving for the first years to follow him.

"Fuckin' hell, he'd fuckin' split you in half." Harry started coughing at Revy remark whilst Ron went bright red and stopped dead.

"Wha- What?" Ron was looking at Revy in surprise.

"Stop fuckin' about or i'll fuckin' leave you behind." Revy was walking towards the big man.

Harry set off with Revy and Ron hurried after a few moments later.

In the group of first year it was fairly easy to pick out Harry and Revy. In the mass of black cloaks of the first years it was fairly easy to spot Revy's red hoody and the yellow of the tiger on Harry's shirt. It also helped that Harry and Revy were taller than most of the other first years, although Ron was still taller than either Harry or Revy.

"An' you mus' be Harry and Revy." The giant man was looking at Harry and Revy intently. "I' wager Professor McGonagall woul' like a word with you two."

"Like I give a fuck." Revy stared down the big man.

There were a lot of whispers at Revy's language and attitude, Harry took to glaring at the closer people and succeeding at getting them to take a few steps backwards.

"No' my place to be involved." The big man looked around at the assembled group, "I am Rubeus Hagrid, keeper of the keys and grounds at Hogwarts, there is no one more knowledgeable about the grounds 'cept Dumbledore himself."

Most people were chatting excitedly, Draco Malfoy who had placed himself as far from Revy and Harry wore a disapproving sneer. The effect was ruined by the angle his nose was at, it was obvious it had been broken and some small patches of blood on his face marred any look he could have tried.

"C'mon, follow me. Mind yer step." With that the giant man set off with the first years scrambling behind him on the dark path. Both sides of the path were dark and the silhouettes of trees could be seen in the darkness.

"All we need is a psycho with a knife and this would make one hell of a horror story." Harry seemed rather oblivious to the effect his comment had on the muggle born students that heard. Those that hadn't already been looking around with an air of nervousness were now.

"Fuck, I knew I fuckin' forgot something." Revy was patting the side of her waist were she usually kept her knife.

Ron shook his head. "You two are insane, you know that?"

There was a laugh from Revy that had Ron shivering.

Hagrid's booming voice broke the relative quiet. "Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec, jus' round this bend here."

The path opened out to a ledge that ended in a long patch of smooth black water, on a mountain on the other side of the lake was what could only be described as a castle with towers and turrets.

"Fuckin' hell." similar sentiments were shared by the other students although not quite in the same way as Harry and Revy.

"No more'n four to a boat." With that Hagrid stepped forwards towards the boats sat just on the edge of the lake. The first years quickly scrambled into the little boats. Harry, Revy and Ron were sat in the same boat, no one else seemed to dare go near Revy.

"Everyone in?" Hagrid was sat in the front boat all by himself, once he was sure everyone had got into a boat he turned around. "Right then- FORWARD!"

Simultaneously all the boats suddenly set off across the lake with no visible means of propulsion.

"What the fuck?" Revy was looking around the boat trying to find out how the boats were moving.

"Magic Revy, don't expect shit to make sense." Harry was casually sat at the back of the boat sprawled out.

"Fuck you."

Ron looked between the two with an expression akin to amusement. "You can hardly tell you two are close friends with the way you insult each other."

"Fuck you ginger."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

The entrance hall in the castle was massive, far larger than any house Revy or Harry had ever seen. Stood in front of the assembled first years was Minerva McGonagall.

"Welcome to Hogwarts." Minerva looked around at the group. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the great hall you will be sorted into your house. Whilst you are here your houses will be like family."

"There are four houses, Gryffindor, house of the brave and the bold. Hufflepuff, house of the loyal and faithful. Ravenclaw, house of the intelligent and studious. Lastly, Slytherin, house of the ambitious and cunning. You will gain points for your house for your triumphs, any rile breaking will lose house points."

"The house with the most points at the end of the year will win the house cup." There were a series of murmurs and Revy snorted in amusement from her place against the wall.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, Revy. I see you made it without too much incident." After a quick glance over Revy and Harry Minerva frowned. "I will speak with you about your attire tomorrow."

"Be my fuckin' guest."

There were a few seconds of silence before Minerva turned back to the rest of the students.

"The sorting ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the whole school. I shall return when we are ready for you." With that Minerva left the room. Excited chattering broke out across the group.

It wasn't long before the tall doors in the hall opened, stood on the other side was Minerva, "Come with me."

The first years followed as they were led into a hall larger than the one they were just in. There were four long tables running the length of the hall, stopping just before a raised section where a table was running widthways of the the hall, sat in the centre of the table was Dumbledore.

His face was neutral as he looked at Harry and Revy although his eyes showed conflicted emotions.

Sat in front of the staff table was a patched hat perched atop a four legged stool. There was silence as everyone looked at the hat expectantly.

A few seconds later when some of the more restless first years were shifted from foot to foot a rip near the brim of the hat opened up and the hat began to sing.

"What the fuck?" Revy was staring at the hat with a rather dumb look.

* * *

_Alright guys, you know the drill, thoughts, opinions and ideas please._


	9. Fuckity Fuck

Fuck this took me forever to do fuckin' do.

Chi Vayne: More than one fuckin' staircase will end up being fuckin' shot, maybe a few fuckin' portraits too, definatly a fuckin' potrait or two, maybe fuckin' twelve.

The Archsage: Your fuckin' bang on about the fuckin' swearing, after some fuckin' character development Revy will end up fuckin' swearing whole lot fuckin' less.

Writer Nightpen: I think having benny as sort of fuckin' authourity figure works quite fuckin' well. The fuckin' killer twins in hogwarts... i am now fuckin' officially fuckin' scared fuckin' shitless. And keep playing the fuckin' imperial march, it's gonna be my fuckin' theme when my Sith Empire takes over the fuckin' world.

drag0nsoldier: I don't fuckin' mind ron but the way he gets fuckin' portayed as some fuckin' spinless traitor sometimes kinda fuckin' annoys me so i'm gonna fuckin' try to make him a fuckin' likeable character.

MWkillkenny84: Damn fuckin' right this is an honest to fuckin' god crossover, and shit has only just got fuckin' started. Fuck yes Hermione is gonna get fuckin' corrupted, it's fuckin' inevitable. And i think it's a fuckin' unamimous vote that Ginny is Revy's fuckin' Apprentice/Sex toy/Slave. Some thing like that.

Right, two more things.

http: /www . /s/ 7495419 /1/ This link, spaces removed, is a story called Black Magic Lagoon: AR. It is what this story was originally gonna be, look it up if you have the time or care to, first person to tell me the cameo gets to request an omake scene of some sort.

http: /rwcwc .blogspot . com/ This link should direct you to my little writing corner blog, every now and again i'll post about how stuff is going for my writing and i may post some ideas and stuff. This is also a good place to heckle me if i take too long. check it out if you feel like it.

* * *

**Black Magic Lagoon**

**Fuckity... Fuck**

"Is that thing fuckin' singing?" The trio of Harry, Ron and Revy were stood watching the singing hat, much like the other first years, no one answered Revy as a silence fell over the entirety of the student body of the school as the hat sang. As soon as the hat stopped singing the entire student body burst into applause.

"So we only have to put the hat on? I'm gonna kill Fred, he said we had to wrestle a troll." Ron seemed quite relieved.

"It fuckin' sings." Revy was still looking at the hat In something akin to awe.

"You're not gonna let that fuckin' go are you?" Harry shook his head as he spoke, not really expecting an answer.

"Abbott, Hannah!" The sudden shout from the front of the hall started the first years out of their daze. A blond haired girl stepped forwards, the hat dropped down and covered her eyes as she sat on the stool.

There were a few moments of silence before the hat spoke. "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Professor McGonagall took the hat off the girl's head as the table on the far right of the hall exploded into applause, the girl rushed off to join them.

Professor McGonagall continued down the list of people, another girl joined Hufflepuff.

Ron was slowly getting more and more pale, his freckles stood out. Harry was elbowed by Revy.

"See the table on the far left?"

Harry gave a quick glance over the the table whose robes were decorated with silver and green.

"What about them?" the table seemed to be populated by a motley of big hulk like boys and several rather stupid looking girls. The prefect that they had seen on the train gave them a quick nod.

"They look like Verrocchio's men, a bunch of thugs." Revy was staring intently and the table with an almost cruel grin.

"Potter, Harry." The call from Professor McGonagall brought Harry's and Revy's attention back to the front of the hall.

The moment his name was spoken a series of murmurs and exclamations broke out across the hall.

"Seriously? Harry Potter?"

"_The _Harry Potter?"

Harry walked forwards to the stool and the sorting sat, keeping his right hand near his pocket as he sat down and let the hat be placed on his head.

_'Interesting.'_

Harry tensed as the odd gravely voice echoed through his head.

_'You are a interesting one Mr. Potter, so much talent, so much anger and rage, even so, I see only one place to put you.'_

"Gryffindor!" The table of red and gold exploded into cheers.

Taking off the hat and dropping it on the stool almost carelessly Harry slowly walked to the table. Harry's hand tightened in his pocket as he sat down, the people on the table crowding near him.

"Give him some room, you can talk to him later." A pompous voice cut through the chatter and the slowly forming crowd quickly disappeared from around Harry.

The red haired boy that bore quite a resemblance to Ron gave a quick nod to Harry as he sat down a few seats away.

"Weasley, Ron." Ron was completely pale when his name was called out and he walked unsteadily towards the stool and the hat.

Almost as soon as the hat touched his there was a shout from the hat.

"Gryffindor!"

Ron blushed scarlet as he took the hat off and headed to Gryffindor table to sit across from Harry.

"Well done Ron." The same pompous voice came from the red haired boy that had cleared the crowd from around Harry.

"Uh, thanks Percy." Ron was still bright red, so much so that Harry could no longer tell where his freckles were.

"Revy!" The hall was silent, the complete lack of a last name had everyone staring as Revy made her way towards the stool.

"About fuckin' time." Some looks and murmurs were exchanged throughout the hall whilst some of the older students laughed.

Revy merely smirked as she took the hat and put it on.

_'Mr. Potter may have been interesting, but you, you are something else. So much forgotten in the haze of your rage, even your own last name, no memory of it at all. None the less...'_

"Gryffindor!"

Revy dropped the hat on the floor and walked over towards the Gryffindor table. A quick glare at a girl with blond hair who was sat next to Harry got her to move and Revy took the vacated seat next to Harry.

Professor McGonagall picked up the sorting hat and the stool and left through a small side door just behind the staff table, as soon as she did Dumbledore stood up and smiled as he looked around the hall.

"Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. Before we begin I would like to say a few words. And here they are. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

With that Dumbledore sat down.

"Fuckin' mad bastard... What the fuck?"

Turning to look at Revy after her sudden statement Harry became aware of one thing. All the plates and bowls running down the centre of the table were now filled with food.

Harry took a moment to look over the food. "Holy shit."

"The house elves do like to make a good impression on the first years Mr. Potter." Across the table was sat a man dressed in something that looked like it came from a good couple of hundred years ago, he was also very see through.

"Oh shit." The ghost seemed amused at Harry's reaction.

"I've seen many reactions in my death, but none quite so colourful." At the ghost's statement Revy looked up from the plate of food she had in-front of her and almost seemed to pale.

"Fuckity... fuck." The surrounding people who were listening in on the conversation were puzzled when Harry and Revy turned to face each other in what looked like fear before they both looked back at the ghost.

"How the fuck do people become ghosts?" Revy was glaring at the ghost.

"Well first, one must be magical and chose to leave some imprint of themselves, either on the place where they died or upon a person, usually one they promised something to or the one they were killed by." The ghost seemed rather happy that he was being asked questions. "I think it would have been better had I chosen to leave this world but no matter."

"I am never going back to China, ever." With that Harry started piling his plate with food.

* * *

"I don't fuckin' think i've ever fuckin' eaten that fuckin' good." Revy had her back against the table and was stretching out.

Across the table Ron was looking at Revy in complete disbelief, "No one has ever beaten me in an eating contest, ever."

"That's..."

"...Insane." Two ginger haired boys who had quite the resemblance to Ron were looking at Revy with something akin to a shocked awe.

"Ahem." Dumbledore was stood at the front of the hall. "Just a few more words now we are all fed and watered. I have a few start of term notices to give you."

"First years should note that the forest in the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well." As Dumbledore gazed around the room his eyes fell on the two identical red heads not too far from Harry.

The two red heads exchanged guilty grins that lacked any actual guilt.

"Those interested in playing Quidditch for their house teams should inform Madam Hooch as soon as possible."

There was a lot of commotion at that announcement, mainly from the younger years of the school. Draco's eyes seemed to light up at the thought of playing the game.

"I don't fuckin' see what all the fuckin' fuss is about. It's just a fuckin' sport."

Harry just shrugged, "Not like I ever cared about sport."

"Hey Ron." Ron jerked as Revy kicked him under the table. "Who's the black haired bastard up there." Revy made an offhand gesture towards the staff table.

Looking over Ron quickly spotted who she was on about. "That's Snape I think, teaches Potions, a real foul git."

"Harry." An elbow accompanied Revy comment.

Taking the cue Harry turned to look at Snape and found the man looking back.

"Huh, I didn't think people like that got to teach." Harry gave a quick nod to Snape before turning back.

"What was that about?" Ron looked a bit puzzled.

"Something you're better off not knowing."

* * *

The walk up the common room was a long one, and it gave Revy plenty of time to complain.

"That's some creepy shit, why the fuck..." Revy cut off suddenly as her foot went straight through what should have been a step on the staircase they were on. "Mother fucker."

Harry laughed as he and Ron pulled Revy from the trick step.

"Need to watch your step Revy, looks like not everything it seems." Harry had a cocky smirk on his face.

"You have to be careful, some steps are just pretending to be steps. It's the same with the walls and doors. Some walls pretend to be doors and some doors pretend to be walls." Percy stood at the top of the staircase the first years were on and seemed rather pleased with himself.

"Oh fuck, I am really fuckin' hating this place." Revy's entire right arm twitched.

"Oh hell no, Revy, no. Not happening." The surrounding people seemed to understand Harry's sense of horror, particularly considering Revy language in the few hours she had been in Hogwarts.

"Don't be such a fuckin' pussy Harry." Revy waved Harry off as she stepped over the trick step.

"Don't forget Xi'an, you were like this just before shit went down there and you remember what happened there." Harry glared at Revy as he stepped over the trick step.

"Uh... What happened in... wherever it is." Ron seemed almost hesitant to ask.

"пошел на хуй рыжий." Revy's remark had everyone but Harry confused." [1]

"She said fuck you ginger." Harry seemed rather casual as he translated for Ron.

"What language was that?" The brown haired girl from the train seemed rather interested the fact Revy seemed to know a second language, despite the obvious dislike she had of both Revy and Harry that showed on her face.

"Fuck you too, fuckin' bitch."Revy didn't even look back over her shoulder as she walked off.

"It was Russian." Harry walked off after Revy, Ron hurrying along after him.

* * *

"I'd like to know your reasoning, if you don't mind." Albus Dumbledore was sat at his desk staring intently at the sorting hat that was sat on his desk.

"About two people in particular I would wager." If the hat had eyes Dumbledore was sure the hat would be giving him an amused glare.

"I do believe so, Mr. Potter and Revy as she likes to be called." Albus leaned back in his chair.

"You want to know why I sorted them into Gryffindor as opposed to Slytherin I take it." The hat seemed almost smug.

"You know me too well. They seem far too dark and dare I say it, ambitiously cunning."

There was a laugh from the hat. "Well they have no loyalty and no thirst for knowledge, that immediately takes out Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw."

Dumbledore nodded in agreement. "Of that I was aware, street smart they may be they are not book academics."

"Quite so. Now, the interesting part. Slytherin, the house of ambition, cunning and resourcefulness. Cunning and resourceful they may be but they lack any great desire of ambition. They just wish to survive in the cold and harsh world that they know."

Dumbledore seemed to age as he slumped down in his seat. "All my life I have worked to end such cruelty, in both the wizard and muggle worlds. It is times like these that I see what little I have archived."

"One man cannot do everything alone, you know that, perhaps better than anyone Headmaster."

Dumbledore sighed. "Perhaps. I think I shall retire for tonight. I have no doubt that this year will be a most trying one."

"Oh, whilst I remember, the problem you had with young miss Tonks in her fifth year. I expect you will have that problem again with young miss... Rebecca."

Dumbledore looked at the hat curiously for a second before he worked out what the hat meant.

"A most trying year indeed."

* * *

**It is done.**

**[1] Yes it is russian and as near as i can tell does translate into fuck you ginger. If anyone can confirm diffrent i'd love to hear from you, chinese, russian and probably a few other languages are gonnabe used so someone who can translate reliably or point me to a website that translates reliabily would be good. EDIT- LZ-35 SRX kindly corrected my translation, i wasn't that far off suprisingly, makes me happy.  
**

**And hell, i wouldn't mind a beta for this story, i often find myself making tiny errors so someone who could look over my finished chapter and clean them up would really help.**

**Also take the remark about Tonks as you will, i know what i mean by it, that's good enough for now.  
**


	10. Fuckin' School

Omega Deuse - Omake is fuckin' here, it's just a fuckin' short fuckin' peice but i fuckin' like it.

Dessel Ordo - Hermionie will be fuckin' corrupted, after fuckin' all, curiosity fuckin' killed the fuckin' cat and all that. The fuckin' room situation is fuckin' on it's fuckin' way, just give me fuckin' time.

In some fuckin' ways i'm kind of fuckin' dissapointed by how this fuckin' chapter turned out, there were some fuckin' things i wanted to fuckin' include that didn't fuckin' make it, just means it gets more fuckin' detail next fuckin' chapter.

Fuckin' onwards.

* * *

**Black Magic Lagoon**

Fuckin' School

"Fuck it's cold." The rest of the occupants of the dorm were all woken at Revy's shout as she suddenly sat up.

"Do you have to be so vulgar?" Despite how early it was the brown haired girl was sat on her bed, already dressed in her uniform and in the middle of putting a lot of books in her bag.

"Fuck you." Revy slumped back in her bed. "Fuck it, knew I should have fuckin' argued more for my own fuckin' room."

"You shouldn't argue with the prefects." The brown haired girl was staring at Revy, almost daring her to challenge the statement.

Revy sighed, "Ah fuck, you're one of those fuckin' people who believe in the fuckin' people in power."

The girl looked almost offended, "Why wouldn't I? They've clearly been placed in positions of authority for a reason."

Revy laughed, "People in power are fuckin' dickheads, they fuck shit up, lie about all the fuckin' shit they do and then get fuckin' paid to fuckin' cover even more fuckin' shit up. That's just the fuckin' way this fuckin' shithole of a world works."

The girl looked at Revy with something similar to pity. "Is that really how you see things? Is that how bleak your world is?"

Revy's only response was to look at the girl, seeing Revy's hollow eyes the girl let out something of a whimper before hurriedly grabbing her bag and almost running from the girls dorm room.

Revy laughed as she stood up and stretched. "Fuckin' cunt." Taking a look around the dorm room at the other three bewildered girls Revy snorted in amusement. "You got a fuckin' problem?"

The three girls were very quick to shake their heads and set about getting ready for the day.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Harry sighed as he sat down in one of the armchairs by the fireplace. Harry had never been an early riser, morning didn't exactly agree with him and being up early this morning left Harry in a bad mood. Unless there was job on Harry didn't usually roll out of bed before 10 if he was hungover, he was lucky to even see the morning if not woken up by someone else, usually Dutch these days.

"Is that how you two really see the world."

Harry looked up at the girl in front of him in confusion. "I don't have a fuckin' clue what the fuck you're on about, now kindly, fuck off." Harry really wasn't a morning person.

"Fine." The girl did an almost perfect heel face turn and strode out the portrait hole of the common room.

Ron entered the common room just in time to see the girl leave. "What was that about?"

"Like I fuckin' know." Harry yawned after his response to Ron.

"Not a morning person are you?" Ron flopped down into the seat next to Harry.

"What gave it away?" Harry's sarcastic response had Ron laughing nervously.

There was a few minutes silence as people slowly trickled down from their dorm and head out towards the great hall for breakfast. It wasn't long before three girls almost ran from the girls dorm, Harry vaguely recognised them as some of the other first years.

"Revy's up." Ron blinked at Harry's remark.

"How do you know that?"

Harry pointed at the three fleeing girls. "I'm fairly sure that they were Revy's dorm-mates."

"Huh, how long do you reckon Revy will be?" Ron had his head cocked to the side as he watched the fleeing girls disappear through the portrait hole.

"Two, three minutes. Something like that." With that Harry reclined in the chair he was sat in and closed his eyes.

XxXxXxXxXxX

"That's him, next to the red haired boy."

"That's Harry Potter."

"That girl is way too stacked to be a firstie."

"Why the hell aren't they wearing uniform?"

The whispers followed the trio as they skirted around the edge of the crowd heading to the great hall.

Revy looked over the bannister from the fourth floor. "Be a whole lot quicker to jump down."

Ron paled as he looked down. "Fairly sure a fall like that would kill you." Ron's voice wavered as he spoke.

"The fall wouldn't kill you." Harry joined the two in looking down.

"Really?" Some of the colour was returning to Ron's face.

"Yeah, it's the sudden stop at the end of the fall that kills you and makes all the squishy stuff leave the body." Revy seemed all too familiar with it.

Ron lost what little colour his face had regained as he backed away.

"Is ickle Ronnikins...

"...Afraid of the fall." Two ginger haired twins appeared either side of Ron and grabbed him by the arms before marching him forward to the banister and leaning over.

"That's a long drop Fred." Both of the twins shared a look.

"Makes you wonder..."

"...What would happen to..."

"...ickle Ronnikins if he fell."

Revy grinned almost manically. "Want to find out?"

There was a whimper from Ron.

"It seems George..."

"...That the ickle firstie...

"...is quite serious." The two twins were looking at each other and moving their eyebrows in an exaggerated fashion in some sort of secret code.

"Is there some sort of a problem here?" The twins jumped as they let go fo Ron and span around to face Professor McGonagall.

The Scottish professor had a stern glare as she looked over the group of five. "Mr. Weasley, please ensure your brothers make it to the great hall, Mr Potter... Revy, please follow me to my office."

Fred and George gulped before dragging Ron away.

The Professor gave a nod as she watched the three Weasley brothers depart. "Follow me please." She directed her statement at Harry and Revy before setting off at a brisk pace.

After a short walk Professor McGonagall opened a door and gestured Harry and Revy into the room that looked remarkably like an empty classroom.

Revy's hand slid inside her jacket as she looked around the room. "Doesn't look like any office i've ever seen."

"I have no doubt the Weasley twins are on their way to my office as we speak to attempt a distraction to ensure you remain out of trouble, It is far too early in the morning to be dealing with them." With a flick of her wand Professor McGonagall cleared a space in the centre of the room and moved three chairs into the space.

Harry instead chose to sit on a nearby desk with Revy spinning one of the chairs and sitting on it backwards with a leg either side of the back.

"What's this about?" Harry yawned as he spoke. "I fuckin' hate mornings and I haven't had anything to eat yet so it better be quick."

"Very well." Professor McGonagall sat down in the chair opposite Revy and Harry. "Hogwarts has a strict dress code that both of you seem to be unwilling to follow."

"I'm not wearing no fuckin' uniform." Revy was staring at Professor McGonagall as if daring her to take the challenge.

"You have indeed made your intentions clear on that, under normal circumstances this would result in at least a detention but as the Headmaster has asked that certain rules be relaxed in regards to the two of you."

"What rules." Harry leaned forwards in interest.

"Only three rules so far, the rule on swearing, being out of bounds during the night and the uniform. All within reason." Professor McGonagall looked at Revy as she mentioned swearing. "I appreciate that the two of you do swear, this is usually not tolerated within hogwarts but as long as you restrict yourself to a word every now and again the teachers will ignore it when you do swear."

Revy sighed. "Fuck."

"Secondly, you are, again within reason, allowed outside the common room during the night. The Headmaster is securing permission with the owner of the Hogshead to allow the two of you to drink there. Within reason. I do not approve of people as young as yourselves drinking alcohol."

"Hot damn."

Professor McGonagall's mouth narrowed into a thin line. "The Headmaster is also allowing you to not wear the school uniform with the understanding that you at least wear your house coat of arms on the jackets the two of you wear."

Revy opened her mouth to say something but Harry beat her to it. "Fine, just as long as it can be removed when we need to."

With a wave of the wand still in her hand the Gryffindor coat of arms appeared on the left side of Harry and Revy's jackets. "Simply tap the badge with your wand and it will disappear, tap the place it should be again and it will reappear."

Professor McGonagall watched with a very small, almost unnoticeable smile as Revy tapped the badge and made it disappear before making it reappear.

"That's fuckin' awesome. I so have to learn how to do that, it'd be so cool" The look in Revy eyes told Professor McGonagall that she probably didn't want to know what Revy would use the ability to hide things for.

"You do know about the statute of secrecy don't you?" The blank looks said everything Professor McGonagall needed to hear. "The statute of secrecy is a law in the wizarding world, it is an internationally recognised regulation to ensure that muggles or non-magical people do not find out about magic and restart the witch-hunts."

Revy cocked her head to the side. "Uhhh... what the fuck did you just say? Do you know what the fuck she just said?"

Harry shrugged at Revy's question. "More big words than I know."

"Don't use magic around people who don't know about magic." Professor McGonagall's mouth was an almost invisible line.

"Make much more fuckin' sense. Fuckin' schools, always complicating things."

XxXxXxXxX

"So Professor, do you think they will cause problems?" Dumbledore was looking out over the great hall as Professor McGonagall sat next to him for breakfast.

"They will cause innumerable problems. They both swear a lot, Revy more so than Harry. They both seem to struggle with a lot of words and will struggle when it comes to the more academic focused lessons."

Dumbledore gave a slow nod. "I have... foreseen these problems, oddly enough, the employer of Harry and Revy has somehow sent me an owl explaining what little he knows about them."

McGonagall frowned. "How would he even send an owl?"

"I have no idea, the man seems to be quite the enigma and from when I met him he seems to be quite knowledgeable on all manner of things." Dumbledore shrugged as he replied.

"People tend to end up on the edge of world for all sorts of reasons, most tend to know things that they shouldn't." The man sat on the other side of Dumbledore was crouched on his chair starring out into the hall.

"Are you sure about that Mr. Arisoto?" Minerva looked at the man with a questioning glare.

"About as sure as I am of anything."

XxXxXxXxXxX

**OMAKE**

_Requested by Omega Deuse_

"Why are we here Malfoy?" Bellatrix's voice was filled with vemon as she spoke.

"This city, Roanapur, I believe, if where Potter and his friend spends his summers away from Hogwarts." Malfoy looked around the dirty and dark alley they were in. "Seems to be quite a disgusting city if you ask me."

"Lets look around quickly and get back, I don't want to spend any longer in this filth than I have to." Bellatrix stepped forward gingerly just as the alleyway was lit up by floodlights from the nearby rooftops.

"Ну-ка, ну-ка, Кто это у нас здесь?"[1]

The group of six death eaters looked up to the rooftops to find nearly twenty people pointing some sort of metallic object at them with a blond haired woman with a scar running down the side of her face.

"Who are you?" Malfoy stood tall as he stared down the apparent leader of the group on the roofs.

"You are in no position to be making demands although I should be asking the same of you." The woman stepped forwards and stood at the very edge of the roof. "Would you be so kind as to enlighten me."

"I think I can help with that." Stood down one side of the alley was a man wearing shades and a longcoat. "A bunch of wimps turned thugs that happen to be looking for our favourite dynamic teenage duo."

The blond woman raised an eyebrow. "And what do they intend to do with this duo then babe?"

The man held out his hands. "What all thugs do when they find a predator stronger than them. Die."

"Well then, let us expedite the process. Огонь!"[2] The woman smiled manically as she shouted the last word.

"Я - защитник советских небес!"[3] With the shout from one of the men the fire of twenty AK-47s rained down on the very surprised to soon to be corpses.

XxXxXxXxXxX

[1] Well Well, who do we have here?

[2] Fire

[3] I am the protector of Soviet's skies

Translations provided by LZ-35 SRX, Much thanks to the man.


	11. It's a Fuckin' AN

It has been brought to my attention that i have failed to update this story for a fuckin' long ass time. Beyond that i've not had the decency to let you guys into whats been going on.

So here it is, stuff happened and i lost my motivation for writing.

It's back.

Along with it being back is a desire for me to make this story into something better than it is.

Much of my time is limited with Uni and Video Games (I do Video Games Design at Uni, It's research... Honest)

Regardless, i will be working on this to make it better, it'll also be cross-posted onto the Archive for those of you that visit there.

RavenWingCorps


End file.
